Ketika browsing berita, secara kebetulan membaca artikel berikut:
"The first arrest occurred on September 3 at about 8am when a
22-year-old Indonesian female was caught while she was about to depart
Singapore by bus at the Tuas Checkpoint.
CNB officers searched her luggage and recovered 2.9kg of Ice wrapped in a bag sandwiched in between two wooden panels.
...
If convicted, they may face the death penalty."
Habislah sudah. Singapura menganut paham mandatory death penalty, dimana kalau membawa obat2-an terlarang di atas ambang batas tertentu (sesuai Misuse of Drugs Act), si hakim tinggal ketok palu: death penalty, tanpa tedeng aling2 lagi.
2.9 kg jauh di atas ambang batas 250 g. Misal yang dibawa tidak murni, dan kemudian dijadikan methampetamine murni pun rasa2-nya pasti di atas 250 g. Dalam bentuk serbuk memang bisa berkadar rendah, tapi dalam bentuk "Ice" rasanya kadar meth berkisar antara 50-80%.
Act ini sedang di-review. Tapi hanya mundur sedikit. Dari death penalty menjadi hukuman seumur hidup, dengan dua kondisi yang ketat (dari sini):
"These conditions
are: firstly, the trafficker must have only played the role of courier,
and must not have been involved in any other activity related to the
supply or distribution of drugs; secondly, discretion will only apply if
having satisfied the first requirement, either the trafficker has
cooperated with the Central Narcotics Bureau in a substantive way, or he
has a mental disability which substantially impairs his appreciation of
the gravity of the act."
22 tahun usia yang sangat muda. Misal skenario terbaik pun: hukuman seumur hidup, well... menjalani sisa hidup yang begitu panjang di Changi Prison, sesuatu yang gw bahkan gw pun takut membayangkannya. Jika tidak bekerja, 23 jam dikurung di sel, dan hanya 1 jam di luar sel setiap harinya. Tidak ada jendela, dan "keluar sel"-pun masih berada di lapangan indoor.
Mengapa harus membawa 2.9 kg? Mengapa tidak membawa 249 g saja?
Valuasi 2.9 kg senilai $580,000 sudah bisa membeli satu unit rumah HDB di Singapura.
Apakah wanita ini anak milyarder? Ataukah hanya kurir? Apakah dia tahu konsekuensi-nya ketika membawa barang tersebut melewati Singapura?
Sedih karena harus ada satu lagi masa depan yang hilang.
Seandainya bisa diberi kesempatan untuk berbincang2. Apa gerangan cerita di balik semua ini.
Dari sejak gw lahir sampai sekarang rasanya selalu hidup dalam peperangan dengan narkoba. Dan dalam perang memang selalu ada nyawa yang melayang. Terkadang memang yang berdosa, namun terkadang ada juga yang tidak berdosa yang menjadi korban.
Satu hari gw membaca surat2 yang ditulis salah satu terdakwa lain hukuman mati karena membawa narkoba: Yong Vui Kong (link). Dan gw menangis di meja kerja gw.
Gw selalu menganggap my life sucks. Tapi orang ini, yang hidup di dalam sel dan menunggu hukuman mati, bisa mengingatkan kembali betapa beruntungnya masih bisa hidup bebas. Untuk itu gw sangat berterima kasih, berhutang malah, dan believe it or not, I will bring him into my prayers.
Kalau boleh berdoa, rasanya ingin berdoa untuk dunia yang lebih baik hati, pemaaf. Somehow kita bisa menemukan cara untuk menciptakan keadilan yang membangun instead of menghancurkan.
Entahlah... suatu hal yang sangat utopis.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
The City of Angels
Bangkok for one night! Terlalu singkat? Well, gw (awalnya) rada takut (soalnya pergi sendirian) dan toh hari Minggu ada latihan ojek perahu.
Tapi ooh kota ini benar2 membuat gw jatuh hati. Betul kata teman gw, siapapun yang pergi ke Bangkok pasti akan jatuh hati dan tidak cukup hanya satu malam.
Hari sedang hujan ketika malam gw tiba. Dan begitu keluar dari stasiun MRT masih harus berjalan menuju hotel. Secara gw tidak pernah bawa payung, ya sudah bablas saja. Gw sih tidak terlalu peduli basah2-an selama hujan masih hujan air (kalau hujan kodok, es, batu, duit, lain ceritanya).
Ketika menunggu lampu hijau di penyeberangan jalan, tiba2 seorang ibu2 mendekat ke arah gw. Otomatis gw terperanjat, karena sudah masuk ke area aman pribadi, apalagi kondisi mental sudah siap siaga copet, jambret. palak, dll seperti di Jakarta.
Alangkah kagetnya gw ketika dia menunjuk ke payung yang dia pegang. Oooh dia melihat gw kehujanan dan ingin berbagi payung.
Gw lihat lebih dekat lagi, ibu2 ini memakai caping ala penyapu jalan. Dia tersenyum dan gw pun membalas tersenyum. It is really the land of smiles.
Sepanjang jalan banyak orang berjualan obat penambah performa seks seperti permen, ada juga yang memasang tanda menjual obat tidur (valium dan xanax), dildo, masturbator, etc. Memang tidak usah malu di Bangkok.
Yang membuat gw bertanya2 adalah kenapa kota dengan prevalensi HIV yang tinggi (hingga 20% lebih di kalangan men having sex with men, 15%-30% di kalangan pekerja seks, dan 40%+ di kalangan drug users), kota yang 5-6 tahun lalu mengakui bahwa pemakaian narkoba begitu menjamur, identik dengan sex tourism, menjual minuman keras di tempat terbuka, namun bisa demikian maju jika dibandingkan dengan Jakarta?
Jujur Bangkok terlihat setingkat lebih bersih jika dibandingkan dengan Jakarta. Entah kemana semua sampah2-nya. Penjual makanan dan barang memang terlihat di trotoar, namun trotoar masih nyaman untuk dilewati. Dan jembatan penyeberangan jalan pun bersih dari penjual dan sampah.
Airport baru Suvarnabhumi, wow...rasanya sudah setingkat dengan Changi dan Shanghai, Besar, dan mengkilat. Tidak seperti Soekarno-Hatta yang acakadut.
Transportasi pun sudah tersedia MRT dan Skytrain. Busnya pun lumayan. Tidak usah pakai kernet seperti Jakarta.
Jadi apakah gw akan kembali ke Bangkok? Wow...tentu saja! Mungkin next time gw akan melihat sex show, cewe bermain ping pong dengan vagina, dan pergi ke fetish club. At the end what happens in Bangkok, stays in Bangkok.
Tapi ooh kota ini benar2 membuat gw jatuh hati. Betul kata teman gw, siapapun yang pergi ke Bangkok pasti akan jatuh hati dan tidak cukup hanya satu malam.
Hari sedang hujan ketika malam gw tiba. Dan begitu keluar dari stasiun MRT masih harus berjalan menuju hotel. Secara gw tidak pernah bawa payung, ya sudah bablas saja. Gw sih tidak terlalu peduli basah2-an selama hujan masih hujan air (kalau hujan kodok, es, batu, duit, lain ceritanya).
Ketika menunggu lampu hijau di penyeberangan jalan, tiba2 seorang ibu2 mendekat ke arah gw. Otomatis gw terperanjat, karena sudah masuk ke area aman pribadi, apalagi kondisi mental sudah siap siaga copet, jambret. palak, dll seperti di Jakarta.
Alangkah kagetnya gw ketika dia menunjuk ke payung yang dia pegang. Oooh dia melihat gw kehujanan dan ingin berbagi payung.
Gw lihat lebih dekat lagi, ibu2 ini memakai caping ala penyapu jalan. Dia tersenyum dan gw pun membalas tersenyum. It is really the land of smiles.
Sepanjang jalan banyak orang berjualan obat penambah performa seks seperti permen, ada juga yang memasang tanda menjual obat tidur (valium dan xanax), dildo, masturbator, etc. Memang tidak usah malu di Bangkok.
Yang membuat gw bertanya2 adalah kenapa kota dengan prevalensi HIV yang tinggi (hingga 20% lebih di kalangan men having sex with men, 15%-30% di kalangan pekerja seks, dan 40%+ di kalangan drug users), kota yang 5-6 tahun lalu mengakui bahwa pemakaian narkoba begitu menjamur, identik dengan sex tourism, menjual minuman keras di tempat terbuka, namun bisa demikian maju jika dibandingkan dengan Jakarta?
Jujur Bangkok terlihat setingkat lebih bersih jika dibandingkan dengan Jakarta. Entah kemana semua sampah2-nya. Penjual makanan dan barang memang terlihat di trotoar, namun trotoar masih nyaman untuk dilewati. Dan jembatan penyeberangan jalan pun bersih dari penjual dan sampah.
Airport baru Suvarnabhumi, wow...rasanya sudah setingkat dengan Changi dan Shanghai, Besar, dan mengkilat. Tidak seperti Soekarno-Hatta yang acakadut.
Transportasi pun sudah tersedia MRT dan Skytrain. Busnya pun lumayan. Tidak usah pakai kernet seperti Jakarta.
Jadi apakah gw akan kembali ke Bangkok? Wow...tentu saja! Mungkin next time gw akan melihat sex show, cewe bermain ping pong dengan vagina, dan pergi ke fetish club. At the end what happens in Bangkok, stays in Bangkok.
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Kenapa cewe semacam ini diciptakan
Kemarin pergi body pump seperti biasa. Dan seperti biasa juga agak rame hemm.
Ok, gw ketemu tempat kosong, dan gw sudah taroh step board gw. Jarak dengan yang lainnya cukup nyaman. Kemudian gw pergi lagi untuk mengambil beban.
Begitu balik.... omg... step board gw udah digeser sedikit sama satu cewe dan dia maksa nyelip di antara ruang kosong. Mana bisa ber-body pump dengan ruang segitu sempit...oalaaah. Maksa bener, ga dapet tempat ya sudah, latihan mandiri di luar sana. Gw juga begitu koq.
Ok, gw bertoleransi sedikit, dan gw geser step board gw ke samping, jadi posisi-nya zig zag. So dia bisa dapet tempat yang lebih banyak. Baik hati kan gw, coba orang biasa, mana mau geser buat orang lain.
Pas body pump mulai dia cuma bawa maksimal 2x1kg di masing2 sisi untuk track paha. Alamak. Bolos lagi pas track lunges. Ill feel gw udah liat-nya.
Daaan paling parah. Ketika semua sudah selesai, dia ninggalin poop-nya. Dia cuma balikin sepasang beban 1kg, jadi sepasang lagi dibiarin bergeletak di sana. Ga mungkin lah dia salah ngira itu punya gw, wong gw sama sekali ga pakai beban 1kg.
Astaga naga... akhirnya gw ber-rela hati mengembalikan beban tersebut ke tempatnya dengan hati penuh kutukan. Kalau ada keadilan di dunia ini, gw berdoa dan berharap setidaknya dia mules2 dan sakit perut.
Ok, gw ketemu tempat kosong, dan gw sudah taroh step board gw. Jarak dengan yang lainnya cukup nyaman. Kemudian gw pergi lagi untuk mengambil beban.
Begitu balik.... omg... step board gw udah digeser sedikit sama satu cewe dan dia maksa nyelip di antara ruang kosong. Mana bisa ber-body pump dengan ruang segitu sempit...oalaaah. Maksa bener, ga dapet tempat ya sudah, latihan mandiri di luar sana. Gw juga begitu koq.
Ok, gw bertoleransi sedikit, dan gw geser step board gw ke samping, jadi posisi-nya zig zag. So dia bisa dapet tempat yang lebih banyak. Baik hati kan gw, coba orang biasa, mana mau geser buat orang lain.
Pas body pump mulai dia cuma bawa maksimal 2x1kg di masing2 sisi untuk track paha. Alamak. Bolos lagi pas track lunges. Ill feel gw udah liat-nya.
Daaan paling parah. Ketika semua sudah selesai, dia ninggalin poop-nya. Dia cuma balikin sepasang beban 1kg, jadi sepasang lagi dibiarin bergeletak di sana. Ga mungkin lah dia salah ngira itu punya gw, wong gw sama sekali ga pakai beban 1kg.
Astaga naga... akhirnya gw ber-rela hati mengembalikan beban tersebut ke tempatnya dengan hati penuh kutukan. Kalau ada keadilan di dunia ini, gw berdoa dan berharap setidaknya dia mules2 dan sakit perut.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Hilangnya Sebuah Nilai...
Melihat berita vonis Xenia maut membuat hati terhenyak. Keluarga korban mengamuk dan banyak komentar di dunia maya yang mempertanyakan hukuman yang dinilai tidak cukup dan tidak layak.
Memang jika dibagi: 15 tahun / 9 korban = 1 tahun 8 bulan penjara per korban. Banyak yang bertanya sebegitu murahkah harga nyawa manusia?
Tapi marilah kita tengok ke belakang. Apakah makna sebuah hukuman?
Ketika kita kecil, kita diberikan hukuman agar kita tidak mengulangi melakukan perbuatan yang tidak baik (memberikan efek jera). Seringkali juga di sebuah komunitas (misal: sekolah), hukuman diberikan agar menjadi contoh bagi yang lain untuk tidak meniru melakukan perbuatan yang tidak baik.
Inilah nilai luhur dari hukuman.
Hukuman bukanlah alat untuk balas dendam, karena tidak ada habis-habisnya dendam itu terbalaskan. Apakah nyawa bisa diganti nyawa? Tentu tidak, yang ada adalah jumlah korban yang bertambah satu yaitu pelaku. Tidak ada orang mati yang bisa dihidupkan dengan mengganti nyawa orang lain.
Kenapa kita lupa bahwa manusia bisa merubah kelakuan?
Apakah ini cerminan masyarakat kita sekarang? Bahwa dendam harus terbalaskan dengan setimpal?
Mungkin kita tidak pernah berubah dari jaman cerita silat dahulu kala. Alangkah tidak elok dan sia-sia-lah kebudayaan yang dibangun selama ini.
Memang jika dibagi: 15 tahun / 9 korban = 1 tahun 8 bulan penjara per korban. Banyak yang bertanya sebegitu murahkah harga nyawa manusia?
Tapi marilah kita tengok ke belakang. Apakah makna sebuah hukuman?
Ketika kita kecil, kita diberikan hukuman agar kita tidak mengulangi melakukan perbuatan yang tidak baik (memberikan efek jera). Seringkali juga di sebuah komunitas (misal: sekolah), hukuman diberikan agar menjadi contoh bagi yang lain untuk tidak meniru melakukan perbuatan yang tidak baik.
Inilah nilai luhur dari hukuman.
Hukuman bukanlah alat untuk balas dendam, karena tidak ada habis-habisnya dendam itu terbalaskan. Apakah nyawa bisa diganti nyawa? Tentu tidak, yang ada adalah jumlah korban yang bertambah satu yaitu pelaku. Tidak ada orang mati yang bisa dihidupkan dengan mengganti nyawa orang lain.
Kenapa kita lupa bahwa manusia bisa merubah kelakuan?
Apakah ini cerminan masyarakat kita sekarang? Bahwa dendam harus terbalaskan dengan setimpal?
Mungkin kita tidak pernah berubah dari jaman cerita silat dahulu kala. Alangkah tidak elok dan sia-sia-lah kebudayaan yang dibangun selama ini.
Monday, August 06, 2012
Back to rowing...
My second season of rowing. Kembali ke badan bau keringat, kecipratan air butek, terbakar sinar matahari, nafas ngos2-an, badan sakit2, pantat lecet, dll. Ada newbie-newbie yang baru join, dan ada old timer yang kembali bergabung. Well buat gw yang baru, semuanya tampang2 baru.
Untuk tahun ini the team bercita2 mendayung perahu 22 personel di SRR November nanti. Yah..saya cuma bisa mendukung.
Sekarang sudah dianggap seasoned rower?!? Alamak...no no no...Paling gw cuma bisa membantu menyemangati newbie2.
Minggu2 kemarin ada yang berminat AustChamp 10km. Alamak juga...ngajak gw pula. Aduh gimana yah.. gw rowing juga baru berapa bulan, mendadak disuruh 10km ya gw takut juga. Bukan masalah sayang nyawa, masalah takut mati menderita.
Begini loh.. kalau lari entah 10, 21, 42km.. kaga sanggup, ya tinggal minggir, terus pulang entah naik bus, MRT atau taxi. Singapur gitu loh. Nah ini di atas perahu. Kaga sanggup.. piye? Berenang... oh no no.. dilarang berenang di reservoir, bisa2 didenda. Terus mau jadi dead weight sepanjang sisa perjalanan... malu juga kan.
So gw suggest kalo taon depan, gw ikutan deh. Indeed kalo orang2-nya masih sama, setelah SRR ini bisa pasang target AustChamp untuk taon depan. Jadi masuk ke target dan program latihan.
Dan untuk SRR sekarang, hmm lari di-dikit-in, semua yang otot2 diperbanyak. Sprint, push up, dll. Alamak lagi....gw paling ga bakat sama yang beginian =(. Duhai2...
Untuk tahun ini the team bercita2 mendayung perahu 22 personel di SRR November nanti. Yah..saya cuma bisa mendukung.
Sekarang sudah dianggap seasoned rower?!? Alamak...no no no...Paling gw cuma bisa membantu menyemangati newbie2.
Minggu2 kemarin ada yang berminat AustChamp 10km. Alamak juga...ngajak gw pula. Aduh gimana yah.. gw rowing juga baru berapa bulan, mendadak disuruh 10km ya gw takut juga. Bukan masalah sayang nyawa, masalah takut mati menderita.
Begini loh.. kalau lari entah 10, 21, 42km.. kaga sanggup, ya tinggal minggir, terus pulang entah naik bus, MRT atau taxi. Singapur gitu loh. Nah ini di atas perahu. Kaga sanggup.. piye? Berenang... oh no no.. dilarang berenang di reservoir, bisa2 didenda. Terus mau jadi dead weight sepanjang sisa perjalanan... malu juga kan.
So gw suggest kalo taon depan, gw ikutan deh. Indeed kalo orang2-nya masih sama, setelah SRR ini bisa pasang target AustChamp untuk taon depan. Jadi masuk ke target dan program latihan.
Dan untuk SRR sekarang, hmm lari di-dikit-in, semua yang otot2 diperbanyak. Sprint, push up, dll. Alamak lagi....gw paling ga bakat sama yang beginian =(. Duhai2...
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
A Good Change...
Happy2... hahahaha....
Another Dream...
While we were having hotel breakfast in Bali, a "bule" tourist passed by. Shirtless, wearing boardshorts, and carrying surfboard, I was swooning... and perhaps drooling.
And when we were at Tanah Lot, a local guy walked towards the sea and surfed there. I was like oh my gosh who wants to surf here? The beach was covered with reef bank and rocks which can hurt people. But yet there he was, surfing.
It reminds me of the old time dream. I want to be a surfer! Hahaha... I know... I am poisoned by those cool advertisement pictures of surfer, big waves, bright sun and blue sea. But gosh those pictures are so beautiful.
Since I was a kid, surfers are inspiration. I am always attracted to those "cool" surfer brands such as: Billabong, Rip Curl, QuikSilver, etc.
I started learn to swim because I wanted lean swimmer body (like those surfers) , but now I end up with bus-like body. Huhuhu I don't know why. But on the positive side, I am quite confident with swimming, and i learn to love water. And now I am learning to love water outside the swimming pool.
Next year am I going back to open water swimming? Hmm let's see...
I love those short films "I surf because..." published by Billabong. Notice that nobody gives clear answer about why they surf. Perhaps I will say I want learn to surf because Andy Irons inspires me to.
Are we too old to pursue another dream? I dunno...
But Bali ignites something long buried inside. Perhaps I should apply permanent residency to that island.
And when we were at Tanah Lot, a local guy walked towards the sea and surfed there. I was like oh my gosh who wants to surf here? The beach was covered with reef bank and rocks which can hurt people. But yet there he was, surfing.
It reminds me of the old time dream. I want to be a surfer! Hahaha... I know... I am poisoned by those cool advertisement pictures of surfer, big waves, bright sun and blue sea. But gosh those pictures are so beautiful.
Since I was a kid, surfers are inspiration. I am always attracted to those "cool" surfer brands such as: Billabong, Rip Curl, QuikSilver, etc.
I started learn to swim because I wanted lean swimmer body (like those surfers) , but now I end up with bus-like body. Huhuhu I don't know why. But on the positive side, I am quite confident with swimming, and i learn to love water. And now I am learning to love water outside the swimming pool.
Next year am I going back to open water swimming? Hmm let's see...
I love those short films "I surf because..." published by Billabong. Notice that nobody gives clear answer about why they surf. Perhaps I will say I want learn to surf because Andy Irons inspires me to.
Are we too old to pursue another dream? I dunno...
But Bali ignites something long buried inside. Perhaps I should apply permanent residency to that island.
Friday, July 06, 2012
About Humility
I always remember this parable from Gospel of Luke:
9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14 (NIV)
You might be a righteous person who is following every commandments in Bible to the letters. But attitude is the most important thing, for God that I believe in sees thing differently from what human see.
To exalt a sinner over a righteous person.... what an amazing God indeed!
9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14 (NIV)
You might be a righteous person who is following every commandments in Bible to the letters. But attitude is the most important thing, for God that I believe in sees thing differently from what human see.
To exalt a sinner over a righteous person.... what an amazing God indeed!
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
Pink Dot 2012
I was there! Exhausted from dragon boat festival in the morning until afternoon, I forced my lazy arse to walk down to Hong Lim Park (it is just two blocks away).
Since I couldn't take pictures on the dragon boat festival, this time my intention was to turn on my "tourist mode" and act tourist-y. I arrived at around 6:30 pm, and at that point Hong Lim park was already a sea of pink coloured people.
A nice lady handed me the run down of the event. This year theme song was "True Colors" by Cindi Lauper. I find it a nice heart-warming nostalgic song:
...
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
...
As I walked around, I noticed something. I started to recognize some of the people there! Guy that I saw in the gym, my yoga instructor, lady that appeared on last year Pink Dot's video, the photographer, the hunky Fridae founder, etc. Oh my, the park is really small!
And what really grabbed my attention was the community tents. I just realised there are so many LGBT community groups in Singapore.
"Queer Book and Movie Club" and "Pelangi Pride Center" are my point of interests. Both offer access to LGBT related literature and sometimes alternative movies screening which always sparks my curiousity (okay I am a geek here). Perhaps I should approach them more.
As an observer, same with last year, my impression is: oh my God...this world is really changing, and it changes fast!
When I was a kid, I read about how "abnormal" LGBT people is. Stories depicted in Intisari, sexology column on magazines (yes..yes I read something that I shouldn't read at that age), newspaper, etc. Also what my parents voiced out about LGBT: "abnormal", and how it doesn't conform with Asian values, that they only belong to the west.
But now this is Asia, and values do change. I don't think we learn homosexuality from the west, we only learn the courage to open our mouths and express our idea, something that heterosexuals also have done long time ago. I really like the fact that now people can easily communicate and form group to support one and another.
Is it a good change? Honestly I don't know. But to observe the change is an excitement.
Honestly again, I feel proud to be there. To witness a group of people slowly change the stigma. Only in Indonesia a temple can be built overnight, but for the rest of the world, unluckily, it will take gradual and arduous process.
For me the song "True Colors" applies to us all. For whatever is your colour, don't be afraid to show it to the world. I'm still learning how to do it :).
At the end, I smiled that day, while my legs were killing me.
Since I couldn't take pictures on the dragon boat festival, this time my intention was to turn on my "tourist mode" and act tourist-y. I arrived at around 6:30 pm, and at that point Hong Lim park was already a sea of pink coloured people.
A nice lady handed me the run down of the event. This year theme song was "True Colors" by Cindi Lauper. I find it a nice heart-warming nostalgic song:
...
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
...
As I walked around, I noticed something. I started to recognize some of the people there! Guy that I saw in the gym, my yoga instructor, lady that appeared on last year Pink Dot's video, the photographer, the hunky Fridae founder, etc. Oh my, the park is really small!
And what really grabbed my attention was the community tents. I just realised there are so many LGBT community groups in Singapore.
"Queer Book and Movie Club" and "Pelangi Pride Center" are my point of interests. Both offer access to LGBT related literature and sometimes alternative movies screening which always sparks my curiousity (okay I am a geek here). Perhaps I should approach them more.
As an observer, same with last year, my impression is: oh my God...this world is really changing, and it changes fast!
When I was a kid, I read about how "abnormal" LGBT people is. Stories depicted in Intisari, sexology column on magazines (yes..yes I read something that I shouldn't read at that age), newspaper, etc. Also what my parents voiced out about LGBT: "abnormal", and how it doesn't conform with Asian values, that they only belong to the west.
But now this is Asia, and values do change. I don't think we learn homosexuality from the west, we only learn the courage to open our mouths and express our idea, something that heterosexuals also have done long time ago. I really like the fact that now people can easily communicate and form group to support one and another.
Is it a good change? Honestly I don't know. But to observe the change is an excitement.
Honestly again, I feel proud to be there. To witness a group of people slowly change the stigma. Only in Indonesia a temple can be built overnight, but for the rest of the world, unluckily, it will take gradual and arduous process.
For me the song "True Colors" applies to us all. For whatever is your colour, don't be afraid to show it to the world. I'm still learning how to do it :).
At the end, I smiled that day, while my legs were killing me.
Monday, July 02, 2012
1!
Number of dragon boat competition that I've participated in!
and also the first time i've participated in the festivals listed on yoursingapore.com!
Please note the word "fittest" ahemm....totally isn't me. Other people will row gallantly and valiantly, but if by chance on that day you noticed an almost die paddler...ah that must be me.
800 m on DBS Regatta light boat, and sudden jump in pace was like 5 mins running in hell.
However against all expectations, we managed to reach the semi finals! We failed in our heats, but qualified for repenchage. Managed to be the second in our repenchage (only by difference of 10 miliseconds with the third), thus qualified for the second repenchage. If we passed this last repenchage, we would go directly to the finals.
We didn't aim for the finals, and realistically speaking our timing history is never good enough to compete in the finals. So without all expectation we rowed our last set with relaxed composure. However the boat seemed happier, morale seemed higher, people had more strength to response for calls and the last charge. With this relaxed composure we didn't finish last on our last repenchage, only 3-4 secs difference with our best timing of the day.
Our team on the land reported that on one point we managed to be the first, and if we maintained it, we would glide into final. But oh well...we had different goal on that day.
In total, against the expectation that we only paddled for one round and then go home, we paddled for three rounds, and I was in the boat for those three rounds :(.
From the first time holding paddle on April to this point, I am considered myself given privilege by the team to sit on the competition boat. I am not a good paddler and can be considered the weakest person on the boat (but at the same time I am also the newest guy on the team). Yet not many people on the team can sustain paddling for 800 m in racing pace. On the race coach kept yelling at me, taping my shoulder and poking me with paddle.
Looking back, it seemed I dunno... weird. From the first trial out of curiosity to this very point. But i am glad that I end up with this team. It is not the best team, because for sure the best team will not take me, but this is the team that willing to take people with any backgrounds and grow from there. We set our goal, we did our training, and we did our best.
Perhaps.....in one a zillionth chance.... could it be also that I make new friends?
For the second season, hmmm... I am more willing to see people who couldn't participate in this SDBF to paddle in the next competition: Singapore River Regatta. It is going to be 200 m event, so people who are weaker in stamina surely can join in. I am not a sprinter, more to a long distance-er.
So for the moment, I am enjoying the break, and two weeks later we will begin "paddles up!" for the next season.
Please note the word "fittest" ahemm....totally isn't me. Other people will row gallantly and valiantly, but if by chance on that day you noticed an almost die paddler...ah that must be me.
800 m on DBS Regatta light boat, and sudden jump in pace was like 5 mins running in hell.
However against all expectations, we managed to reach the semi finals! We failed in our heats, but qualified for repenchage. Managed to be the second in our repenchage (only by difference of 10 miliseconds with the third), thus qualified for the second repenchage. If we passed this last repenchage, we would go directly to the finals.
We didn't aim for the finals, and realistically speaking our timing history is never good enough to compete in the finals. So without all expectation we rowed our last set with relaxed composure. However the boat seemed happier, morale seemed higher, people had more strength to response for calls and the last charge. With this relaxed composure we didn't finish last on our last repenchage, only 3-4 secs difference with our best timing of the day.
Our team on the land reported that on one point we managed to be the first, and if we maintained it, we would glide into final. But oh well...we had different goal on that day.
In total, against the expectation that we only paddled for one round and then go home, we paddled for three rounds, and I was in the boat for those three rounds :(.
From the first time holding paddle on April to this point, I am considered myself given privilege by the team to sit on the competition boat. I am not a good paddler and can be considered the weakest person on the boat (but at the same time I am also the newest guy on the team). Yet not many people on the team can sustain paddling for 800 m in racing pace. On the race coach kept yelling at me, taping my shoulder and poking me with paddle.
Looking back, it seemed I dunno... weird. From the first trial out of curiosity to this very point. But i am glad that I end up with this team. It is not the best team, because for sure the best team will not take me, but this is the team that willing to take people with any backgrounds and grow from there. We set our goal, we did our training, and we did our best.
Perhaps.....in one a zillionth chance.... could it be also that I make new friends?
For the second season, hmmm... I am more willing to see people who couldn't participate in this SDBF to paddle in the next competition: Singapore River Regatta. It is going to be 200 m event, so people who are weaker in stamina surely can join in. I am not a sprinter, more to a long distance-er.
So for the moment, I am enjoying the break, and two weeks later we will begin "paddles up!" for the next season.
Friday, June 22, 2012
In Good Times: Run...
Olahraga yang paling gw benci. Gw hanya berlari karena olahraga ini dianggap olahraga aerobik "normatif". Bukan apa, kembali karena kaki ceper yang selalu mengakibatkan lecet dimana2.
Event lari terakhir gw adalah Tri-Factor Run 2011 21 km. Dan setelah itu karena kesibukan pekerjaan, badan menggelembung, sehingga sudah malas untuk berlari lagi. Dan di awal2 tahun ini untuk memulai kembali, rasanya sulit dan bahkan impossibru. Just face it lah, hari ke hari badan bertambah tua.
April adalah lari pertama gw di tahun 2012. Tidak jauh, hanya 2.4 km. Tapi alamak, memulai kembali dari 0. 800m nafas sudah mulai ngos2-an, sebagian jalan, dan sisanya lari lambat sekali. At the end, nyaris pingsan.
Tapi kenyataan yang membahagiakan adalah, walaupun mulai kembali dari 0, progress sepertinya jauh lebih cepat meningkat. Not bad..not bad...
Mount Faber Run 10 km 2012 hari Minggu kemarin finish dengan waktu 1:10:35. Sabtu sehari sebelumnya gw ditanya seorang teman: "Lu udah latihan belum?". Dan gw baru sadar alamak sebenarnya gw tidak latihan khusus untuk lari ini. Tidak pernah sekalipun tahun ini gw mencoba lari 10 km, bahkan di treadmill sekalipun.
So yup, that run was my first 10km ever in year 2012. Target gw sebenarnya adalah 1 jam. Missed by 10 minutes, shoot! Ok lah boleh dicari alasan karena terrain-nya uphill/downhill sampai mendaki ke "Mount Faber". Tapi rasanya ... hmm koq alasan yah.
Gw mulai terlambat 4 menit. Ketika "teeeeet" start, gw masih asyik2 nitip tas dan benerin bib. Deket2 water point di atas Mount Faber, gw ketemu (ini catch up lhoo.. dia start duluan) seorang rekan se-tim dragon boat. Say hi2...chit chat...dan melanjutkan lari. Entah karena kiasu atau gw laper pingin sarapan, akhirnya gw finish lebih duluan daripada dia, yang mengakibatkan ada gosip sorenya: "Waah...finish duluan...".
Yup sorenya masih harus cipak2 air dengan dayung (pulang, sarapan, tidur satu jam, makan siang, udah harus pergi lagi). Makanya lari pagi itu, separoh2 simpan tenaga, takut mati sorenya.
Daan.... sorenya paha kiri gw kram! Shoot! Kram di big muscle itu benar2 sakit, dan recovery-nya jauh lebih lambat. Si teman yang lari itu juga kram.... hahahaha....
Rasanya untuk lari gw akan mencoba hal yang baru tahun ini. Kalau tahun lalu yang penting adalah jarak, tahun ini gw bakal mencoba untuk fokus ke konsistensi.
Target: full marathon Standard Chartered Marathon 2012. Sudah dua tahun gagal ikut, tahun ini ada kesialan apa lagi.
Setidaknya setiap tahun mencoba 1x saja full marathon.
Gw coba build up agenda:
Juli:
1. Marina 21K (bareng dengan teman masa muda dulu-kah?)
Agustus -- break... libur lebaran
September:
2. Yellow Ribbon Prison Run 10K (udah daftar)
3. Mizuno Wave Run 16K (udah daftar, sepaket dengan Mount Faber Run)
Oktober
4. Newton Run 30K/Adidas KOTR 16.5K (??? tanda tanya besar, terlalu dekat ke SRR soalnya)
November
5. PAssion Run 9K+21K (90% ikutan kayanya)
Desember
6. Standard Chartered Marathon!
Event lari terakhir gw adalah Tri-Factor Run 2011 21 km. Dan setelah itu karena kesibukan pekerjaan, badan menggelembung, sehingga sudah malas untuk berlari lagi. Dan di awal2 tahun ini untuk memulai kembali, rasanya sulit dan bahkan impossibru. Just face it lah, hari ke hari badan bertambah tua.
April adalah lari pertama gw di tahun 2012. Tidak jauh, hanya 2.4 km. Tapi alamak, memulai kembali dari 0. 800m nafas sudah mulai ngos2-an, sebagian jalan, dan sisanya lari lambat sekali. At the end, nyaris pingsan.
Tapi kenyataan yang membahagiakan adalah, walaupun mulai kembali dari 0, progress sepertinya jauh lebih cepat meningkat. Not bad..not bad...
Mount Faber Run 10 km 2012 hari Minggu kemarin finish dengan waktu 1:10:35. Sabtu sehari sebelumnya gw ditanya seorang teman: "Lu udah latihan belum?". Dan gw baru sadar alamak sebenarnya gw tidak latihan khusus untuk lari ini. Tidak pernah sekalipun tahun ini gw mencoba lari 10 km, bahkan di treadmill sekalipun.
So yup, that run was my first 10km ever in year 2012. Target gw sebenarnya adalah 1 jam. Missed by 10 minutes, shoot! Ok lah boleh dicari alasan karena terrain-nya uphill/downhill sampai mendaki ke "Mount Faber". Tapi rasanya ... hmm koq alasan yah.
Gw mulai terlambat 4 menit. Ketika "teeeeet" start, gw masih asyik2 nitip tas dan benerin bib. Deket2 water point di atas Mount Faber, gw ketemu (ini catch up lhoo.. dia start duluan) seorang rekan se-tim dragon boat. Say hi2...chit chat...dan melanjutkan lari. Entah karena kiasu atau gw laper pingin sarapan, akhirnya gw finish lebih duluan daripada dia, yang mengakibatkan ada gosip sorenya: "Waah...finish duluan...".
Yup sorenya masih harus cipak2 air dengan dayung (pulang, sarapan, tidur satu jam, makan siang, udah harus pergi lagi). Makanya lari pagi itu, separoh2 simpan tenaga, takut mati sorenya.
Daan.... sorenya paha kiri gw kram! Shoot! Kram di big muscle itu benar2 sakit, dan recovery-nya jauh lebih lambat. Si teman yang lari itu juga kram.... hahahaha....
Rasanya untuk lari gw akan mencoba hal yang baru tahun ini. Kalau tahun lalu yang penting adalah jarak, tahun ini gw bakal mencoba untuk fokus ke konsistensi.
Target: full marathon Standard Chartered Marathon 2012. Sudah dua tahun gagal ikut, tahun ini ada kesialan apa lagi.
Setidaknya setiap tahun mencoba 1x saja full marathon.
Gw coba build up agenda:
Juli:
1. Marina 21K (bareng dengan teman masa muda dulu-kah?)
Agustus -- break... libur lebaran
September:
2. Yellow Ribbon Prison Run 10K (udah daftar)
3. Mizuno Wave Run 16K (udah daftar, sepaket dengan Mount Faber Run)
Oktober
4. Newton Run 30K/Adidas KOTR 16.5K (??? tanda tanya besar, terlalu dekat ke SRR soalnya)
November
5. PAssion Run 9K+21K (90% ikutan kayanya)
Desember
6. Standard Chartered Marathon!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
It's a Baby Girl!
Now I am officially an uncle of two! Bohohoho... uncle...
What made me even happier, when I called my mom, they were all there at the hospital. Mom, dad, bro, sis-in-law, little Catherine, and baby girl.
How I wish to be there. But hearing my dad taking more responsible of taking care my mom makes me feel 'grateful' not to be there also :P.
Our small family is growing bigger. Now I have to add 14th of June as important date on my calendar.
What made me even happier, when I called my mom, they were all there at the hospital. Mom, dad, bro, sis-in-law, little Catherine, and baby girl.
How I wish to be there. But hearing my dad taking more responsible of taking care my mom makes me feel 'grateful' not to be there also :P.
Our small family is growing bigger. Now I have to add 14th of June as important date on my calendar.
Thursday, June 07, 2012
Indonesia Team @ DBS Regatta 2012
Someone took the video:
Once again salute for Indonesia team. A handful number of people, yet inspire so many!
Once again salute for Indonesia team. A handful number of people, yet inspire so many!
Trial Result
From the vice captain last night:
Run:
1st 862m: 3m50s
2nd 862m: 3m 46s
3rd 862m: 4m01s
1min pull up: 4 reps (half)
1min squats: 71 reps
1min crunches: 87 reps
1 min push up: 55 reps
1 min flutter: 75 reps
I hate the sudden drop on the 3rd round run, should keep it under 4 mins.... breathe.
Pull up, yeah major disaster
Push ups, actually I did 60, but I self-discounted 5 for the probability of "not doing the full movement", same with crunches.
Last weekend rowing trial result:
Leftie 500 m, with current, Bedok reservoir: 5m15s.
Usually I don't care about these numbers, but since it is provided, let see if we can improve these results in the future.
And....
"Land training for SRR will be different... It would cover shorter distance with more explosive kind of workouts."
WHAT?!?!?!? And now they mention River Regatta...*fainted
Run:
1st 862m: 3m50s
2nd 862m: 3m 46s
3rd 862m: 4m01s
1min pull up: 4 reps (half)
1min squats: 71 reps
1min crunches: 87 reps
1 min push up: 55 reps
1 min flutter: 75 reps
I hate the sudden drop on the 3rd round run, should keep it under 4 mins.... breathe.
Pull up, yeah major disaster
Push ups, actually I did 60, but I self-discounted 5 for the probability of "not doing the full movement", same with crunches.
Last weekend rowing trial result:
Leftie 500 m, with current, Bedok reservoir: 5m15s.
Usually I don't care about these numbers, but since it is provided, let see if we can improve these results in the future.
And....
"Land training for SRR will be different... It would cover shorter distance with more explosive kind of workouts."
WHAT?!?!?!? And now they mention River Regatta...*fainted
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Would You Change...
If -hypothetically- you were in a relationship with someone? Would you alter your life course, goals, personal principles, etc for the sake of the relationship?
Then would it mean that you were losing your identity?
Perhaps yes, because after being alone for so long, we are afraid to become lonely again.
I don't know, it seems there is no correct answer for this.
Then would it mean that you were losing your identity?
Perhaps yes, because after being alone for so long, we are afraid to become lonely again.
I don't know, it seems there is no correct answer for this.
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Pink Dot is Coming (again)!
This year promotional video is a bit gloomy. But according to the director: "it is meant to address some important and very real issues (link here)."
Last year I was enthusiastic because the ambassadors was my favourite local actresses: Dim Sum Dollies (miss you always Emma Yong). This year, on a weird occasion, I was at one of the Pink Dot's launch campaign, and I still remember Sharon Au (one of this year ambassadors) shouted: "I love gaaayss..... because all of my best friends are gaaaays!!" Hahahaha...
As a foreigner I am not allowed to participate. And even though fairy godmother Dorothy dropped by and gave me the opportunity, I would be reluctant to participate. Why? Somehow I fell back home we also have the same struggle and unfinished homework. There are some muffled voices that need to be heard.
This pink dot is not my dot. The elements to form "my dot" are still scattered as hookers at Taman Lawang, beauticians at low class beauty parlour, joke materials-cum-singers at public transports, etc. This materials are not the smiling pictures of "normal" gay prides. There is no glamour-sparkling-rainbow on it.
You might wonder, instead of working as lawyers, doctors, architects, consultants, why they work on such ridiculous jobs? Why?
Indonesia doesn't have laws to criminalize LGBT people, but the treatment can be (is) much worse. And there are some groups who want to have law to criminalize LGBT people in this 21st century!
I believe as a nation we should sail forward, we will need every potential and capability to make this happen. Imagine a ship with determined crews versus a ship with crews who are fighting with each other. Which one will sail faster? And we really-really-desperately need to catch up with other nations. There is no time to lose.
Speaker's Corner (where the Pink Dot is held) is just a walking distance from my home. However on 30th of June there is something on my agenda. I am not sure if I can drop by this year. But if I am able to, I hope I can take some interesting pictures.
Wish you the best of luck Singapore!
Last year I was enthusiastic because the ambassadors was my favourite local actresses: Dim Sum Dollies (miss you always Emma Yong). This year, on a weird occasion, I was at one of the Pink Dot's launch campaign, and I still remember Sharon Au (one of this year ambassadors) shouted: "I love gaaayss..... because all of my best friends are gaaaays!!" Hahahaha...
As a foreigner I am not allowed to participate. And even though fairy godmother Dorothy dropped by and gave me the opportunity, I would be reluctant to participate. Why? Somehow I fell back home we also have the same struggle and unfinished homework. There are some muffled voices that need to be heard.
This pink dot is not my dot. The elements to form "my dot" are still scattered as hookers at Taman Lawang, beauticians at low class beauty parlour, joke materials-cum-singers at public transports, etc. This materials are not the smiling pictures of "normal" gay prides. There is no glamour-sparkling-rainbow on it.
You might wonder, instead of working as lawyers, doctors, architects, consultants, why they work on such ridiculous jobs? Why?
Indonesia doesn't have laws to criminalize LGBT people, but the treatment can be (is) much worse. And there are some groups who want to have law to criminalize LGBT people in this 21st century!
I believe as a nation we should sail forward, we will need every potential and capability to make this happen. Imagine a ship with determined crews versus a ship with crews who are fighting with each other. Which one will sail faster? And we really-really-desperately need to catch up with other nations. There is no time to lose.
Speaker's Corner (where the Pink Dot is held) is just a walking distance from my home. However on 30th of June there is something on my agenda. I am not sure if I can drop by this year. But if I am able to, I hope I can take some interesting pictures.
Wish you the best of luck Singapore!
Friday, June 01, 2012
Clothing
No matter how expensive is your clothing, if your body shape is not nice, it will not look good. However if your body shape is nice, you will look good even though you are not wearing any clothes.
-self GSS reminder
-self GSS reminder
Thursday, May 31, 2012
About Family
Few days ago I received phone call from my dad. It is one in a million possibilities that my dad want to call me, so I thought it was important.
Oh he was in KL, did some heart check up with my uncle and friends, and would like to know which mall to visit.
After he hung up, I continued to call my mom. Because since my dad was in KL, this meant that my mom was staying and managing shop alone. I would like to know whether she needed help or not.
She initially picked up with lazy tone, but once she knew that me who was calling, I sensed a huge jolt of happiness. I nearly cried that time. I missed you too mom!
I really don't know what happen to me nowadays, recently I get so melancholic.
Yeah I know it can get very lonely staying in that home alone. At night, all you can do is "watching the wall".
Last time I was in Jakarta I didn't manage to meet my mom because she went to Belitung with her friends. So it has been quite some time since we met.
At that time our most senior employee told me to come home more often. He said that actually my parents are so happy if there is someone around. He didn't know about Sunday, but from Monday to Saturday, my brother was rarely seen in the shop.
There were times when I left home to go back to Singapore, I couldn't use the sentence: "Bye all, I am going back to Singapore (sometime I left when the shop still open, so I also had to say goodbye to the folks there)."
My mom usually protested: "You are GOING to Singapore. Back is here, home is here."
Yes indeed no matter where I am, my home is still there.
Then we continued speaking, and I told her due to some commitment I couldn't go home at least until mid of July (but actually I am planning to "steal" some opportunity to go back).
I know on June we are expecting a new member of our family. My second niece! I don't know why, but now I am quite happy with the fact that I am an uncle. Last time I was in Jakarta, my niece came running to me. Hahaha so cute! Usually she runs away FROM me.
I hope my family will get a bit "busy" so my absence will be left unnoticed. And I just hope that I can be a good uncle. I can't teach the correct way in life, but I hope I can share my experience.
At the very end, I think is OK to love your family, and miss them.
Oh he was in KL, did some heart check up with my uncle and friends, and would like to know which mall to visit.
After he hung up, I continued to call my mom. Because since my dad was in KL, this meant that my mom was staying and managing shop alone. I would like to know whether she needed help or not.
She initially picked up with lazy tone, but once she knew that me who was calling, I sensed a huge jolt of happiness. I nearly cried that time. I missed you too mom!
I really don't know what happen to me nowadays, recently I get so melancholic.
Yeah I know it can get very lonely staying in that home alone. At night, all you can do is "watching the wall".
Last time I was in Jakarta I didn't manage to meet my mom because she went to Belitung with her friends. So it has been quite some time since we met.
At that time our most senior employee told me to come home more often. He said that actually my parents are so happy if there is someone around. He didn't know about Sunday, but from Monday to Saturday, my brother was rarely seen in the shop.
There were times when I left home to go back to Singapore, I couldn't use the sentence: "Bye all, I am going back to Singapore (sometime I left when the shop still open, so I also had to say goodbye to the folks there)."
My mom usually protested: "You are GOING to Singapore. Back is here, home is here."
Yes indeed no matter where I am, my home is still there.
Then we continued speaking, and I told her due to some commitment I couldn't go home at least until mid of July (but actually I am planning to "steal" some opportunity to go back).
I know on June we are expecting a new member of our family. My second niece! I don't know why, but now I am quite happy with the fact that I am an uncle. Last time I was in Jakarta, my niece came running to me. Hahaha so cute! Usually she runs away FROM me.
I hope my family will get a bit "busy" so my absence will be left unnoticed. And I just hope that I can be a good uncle. I can't teach the correct way in life, but I hope I can share my experience.
At the very end, I think is OK to love your family, and miss them.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Something that I don't have
I have to admit I don't have a big heart and strong will. I am a kind of guy who is pessimistic, childish, and lack of personal drive.
Whenever people ask me: "What you want to be in the future?"
Usually I will reply: "Whatever, I hate my life anyway."
Which is quite true, on any opportunity that arise, I will complain about this and that. Basically everything bad had happened in my life.
"My life is so boring, I want to move to another world!" Some of my friends are so familiar with that sentence.
Recently I met a person who reminds me of my late grandmother, and he is still quite young. But my first impression is a big tree.
Huh why?
Honestly, I don't know. First impression is always hard to decipher. However I can sense the calmness, willingness to share, and strong "root" of understanding his own life.
Perhaps it is because of both of them are Buddhists?
My late grandmother was a devout Buddhist, and I can see the values that she brought to the family. Again it was like a tree, eventhough she was small, but it seemed like she was so big that everyone could take comfort with her.
Suddenly I feel so small, and yes indeed I am small.
My life is hard, but everybody else's life is also hard, and even harder.
I remember a person said to me: "Consider life is like a marathon, not a sprint. Don't focus on the finish line, and be happy everytime you reach certain mile. And remember to always breathe."
If I don't know what I want to be in the future, why can't I set a simpler goal? I want to be a kinder person for example?
And complaining will not bring me anywhere.
I think I want to learn how to be happy with my own life. Everything bad is a lesson for something good in the future. Perhaps a bit of Lady Gaga's Born This Way will be helpful =).
Sometimes it's amazed me. At this age, yet I still feel so many new things to learn.
Whenever people ask me: "What you want to be in the future?"
Usually I will reply: "Whatever, I hate my life anyway."
Which is quite true, on any opportunity that arise, I will complain about this and that. Basically everything bad had happened in my life.
"My life is so boring, I want to move to another world!" Some of my friends are so familiar with that sentence.
Recently I met a person who reminds me of my late grandmother, and he is still quite young. But my first impression is a big tree.
Huh why?
Honestly, I don't know. First impression is always hard to decipher. However I can sense the calmness, willingness to share, and strong "root" of understanding his own life.
Perhaps it is because of both of them are Buddhists?
My late grandmother was a devout Buddhist, and I can see the values that she brought to the family. Again it was like a tree, eventhough she was small, but it seemed like she was so big that everyone could take comfort with her.
Suddenly I feel so small, and yes indeed I am small.
My life is hard, but everybody else's life is also hard, and even harder.
I remember a person said to me: "Consider life is like a marathon, not a sprint. Don't focus on the finish line, and be happy everytime you reach certain mile. And remember to always breathe."
If I don't know what I want to be in the future, why can't I set a simpler goal? I want to be a kinder person for example?
And complaining will not bring me anywhere.
I think I want to learn how to be happy with my own life. Everything bad is a lesson for something good in the future. Perhaps a bit of Lady Gaga's Born This Way will be helpful =).
Sometimes it's amazed me. At this age, yet I still feel so many new things to learn.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
If you can't do it in one shot....
Ketika dulu belajar berenang, gw termasuk kategori pecundang kelas berat. Ceritanya ada bagian dimana harus berenang lepas dari bantuan (swimming board). Kalau bisa di kolam cetek, kemudian pindah ke kolam dewasa. Buat anak kecil dengan tinggi < 1m, ini benar2 leap of faith. Secara begitu pindah ke kolam dewasa, walah benar2 pertaruhan hidup dan mati.
Ok-lah gw termasuk golongan yang "terlambat berkembang". Semua rekan2 seperjuangan sudah pindah ke kolam dewasa, cuma gw yang masih kecipak2 di kolam cetek.
Kemudian pelatih gw ngomong, kira2 begini (aslinya lupa lah...udah lama banget):
"Kalau kamu ga bisa dalam sekali latihan, terus latihan... dua, tiga, empat kali dan seterusnya. Kalau seminggu dua kali latihan ga cukup, datang saja sendiri dan latihan di kolam cetek. Dan yang penting, jangan sampai kamu berhenti latihan."
Akhirnya... yes gw bisa lepas dari papan! Masuk ke kolam dewasa, 1m, 2m, 3m, 15m, semuanya ga masalah, toh berenang ini. Dan gw menemukan gaya favorit: gaya dada!
Sebagai orang yang "lamban" dalam berolahraga, ada 1 hal yang membuat gw membenci team sport seperti basket, sepakbola, dll. I'm not good! That's the main reason. Dan setiap kali gw gagal ketika dioper bola, atau menendang, atau entahlah, rasanya selalu mendapat ungkapan kekecewaan dari rekan tim lainnya.
I don't work like that!
Walaupun menurut gw ini lebih ke masalah mentalitas. Ketika SMP dulu, pas disuruh main basket, voli, dll... umumnya anak2 yang jago memilih rekan2 yang jago juga. Yang underdog tinggal nge-gosip di pinggir lapangan.
Teman2 SMU beda... makanya gw lebih menikmati olahraga tim ketika SMU.
Walaupun juga... Gw buang jauh2 usaha untuk menjadi pencinta alam ketika SMU. Kali pertama dan sampai saat ini terakhir, ketika gw menyerah di tengah jalan. Lagi2 alasan yang sama. Setiap minggu gw selalu mendapat ungkapan kekecewaan... lari kurang kuat lah, push up ga bisa lah, dst.
Pada akhirnya gw tumbuh dengan olahraga individual. Berenang, sepeda, dan yang paling lousy: lari. Menyesal? Oh tentu tidak.
Gw mencoba olahraga baru: dragon boat dengan penuh ke-hati2-an. Ga cocok ya sudah, anggap aja fun.
Tapi sampai sekarang mereka belum menyerah dengan gw. Dan gw melihat efek samping yang positif. I am not giving up! Badan sakit2, hati takut... tapi entah kenapa bagi gw yang penting sekarang adalah ikut terus! Pasti kepayahan, dan pasti ga bisa sebagus yang senior... but what the hell... eventually it will improve.
Having a team is not that bad! And they're pulling me in. Dengan tiba2 semua beban gym gw naek! I think..gosh.. what a motivation.
Pada akhirnya gw pikir.. gw tahu apa yang gw mau. Dulu gw bermimpi bisa berenang jarak jauh. Sekarang pulang kerja, casual swimming, gw bisa hit 2 km. Plus bisa ganti gaya antara gaya bebas dan gaya dada seenak jidat.
Gw bisa sepeda.... dan gw mulai meningkatkan kecepatan lari.
Bagi orang yang besar dengan predikat "tidak bisa berolahraga", ini adalah prestasi yang jauh lebih berharga dari prestasi yang lain2.
Orang bilang "You're already old!". Tapi gw bilang... gw yang muda dulu ga bisa begini. Berenang jauh sedikit muntah, sepeda muntah, lari muntah... apa2 muntah.
I'm not good... I never be good... but at least I should not stop trying. At the end, it is my life and I entitle to do whatever I want.
Ok-lah gw termasuk golongan yang "terlambat berkembang". Semua rekan2 seperjuangan sudah pindah ke kolam dewasa, cuma gw yang masih kecipak2 di kolam cetek.
Kemudian pelatih gw ngomong, kira2 begini (aslinya lupa lah...udah lama banget):
"Kalau kamu ga bisa dalam sekali latihan, terus latihan... dua, tiga, empat kali dan seterusnya. Kalau seminggu dua kali latihan ga cukup, datang saja sendiri dan latihan di kolam cetek. Dan yang penting, jangan sampai kamu berhenti latihan."
Akhirnya... yes gw bisa lepas dari papan! Masuk ke kolam dewasa, 1m, 2m, 3m, 15m, semuanya ga masalah, toh berenang ini. Dan gw menemukan gaya favorit: gaya dada!
Sebagai orang yang "lamban" dalam berolahraga, ada 1 hal yang membuat gw membenci team sport seperti basket, sepakbola, dll. I'm not good! That's the main reason. Dan setiap kali gw gagal ketika dioper bola, atau menendang, atau entahlah, rasanya selalu mendapat ungkapan kekecewaan dari rekan tim lainnya.
I don't work like that!
Walaupun menurut gw ini lebih ke masalah mentalitas. Ketika SMP dulu, pas disuruh main basket, voli, dll... umumnya anak2 yang jago memilih rekan2 yang jago juga. Yang underdog tinggal nge-gosip di pinggir lapangan.
Teman2 SMU beda... makanya gw lebih menikmati olahraga tim ketika SMU.
Walaupun juga... Gw buang jauh2 usaha untuk menjadi pencinta alam ketika SMU. Kali pertama dan sampai saat ini terakhir, ketika gw menyerah di tengah jalan. Lagi2 alasan yang sama. Setiap minggu gw selalu mendapat ungkapan kekecewaan... lari kurang kuat lah, push up ga bisa lah, dst.
Pada akhirnya gw tumbuh dengan olahraga individual. Berenang, sepeda, dan yang paling lousy: lari. Menyesal? Oh tentu tidak.
Gw mencoba olahraga baru: dragon boat dengan penuh ke-hati2-an. Ga cocok ya sudah, anggap aja fun.
Tapi sampai sekarang mereka belum menyerah dengan gw. Dan gw melihat efek samping yang positif. I am not giving up! Badan sakit2, hati takut... tapi entah kenapa bagi gw yang penting sekarang adalah ikut terus! Pasti kepayahan, dan pasti ga bisa sebagus yang senior... but what the hell... eventually it will improve.
Having a team is not that bad! And they're pulling me in. Dengan tiba2 semua beban gym gw naek! I think..gosh.. what a motivation.
Pada akhirnya gw pikir.. gw tahu apa yang gw mau. Dulu gw bermimpi bisa berenang jarak jauh. Sekarang pulang kerja, casual swimming, gw bisa hit 2 km. Plus bisa ganti gaya antara gaya bebas dan gaya dada seenak jidat.
Gw bisa sepeda.... dan gw mulai meningkatkan kecepatan lari.
Bagi orang yang besar dengan predikat "tidak bisa berolahraga", ini adalah prestasi yang jauh lebih berharga dari prestasi yang lain2.
Orang bilang "You're already old!". Tapi gw bilang... gw yang muda dulu ga bisa begini. Berenang jauh sedikit muntah, sepeda muntah, lari muntah... apa2 muntah.
I'm not good... I never be good... but at least I should not stop trying. At the end, it is my life and I entitle to do whatever I want.
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