I have to admit I don't have a big heart and strong will. I am a kind of guy who is pessimistic, childish, and lack of personal drive.
Whenever people ask me: "What you want to be in the future?"
Usually I will reply: "Whatever, I hate my life anyway."
Which is quite true, on any opportunity that arise, I will complain about this and that. Basically everything bad had happened in my life.
"My life is so boring, I want to move to another world!" Some of my friends are so familiar with that sentence.
Recently I met a person who reminds me of my late grandmother, and he is still quite young. But my first impression is a big tree.
Huh why?
Honestly, I don't know. First impression is always hard to decipher. However I can sense the calmness, willingness to share, and strong "root" of understanding his own life.
Perhaps it is because of both of them are Buddhists?
My late grandmother was a devout Buddhist, and I can see the values that she brought to the family. Again it was like a tree, eventhough she was small, but it seemed like she was so big that everyone could take comfort with her.
Suddenly I feel so small, and yes indeed I am small.
My life is hard, but everybody else's life is also hard, and even harder.
I remember a person said to me: "Consider life is like a marathon, not a sprint. Don't focus on the finish line, and be happy everytime you reach certain mile. And remember to always breathe."
If I don't know what I want to be in the future, why can't I set a simpler goal? I want to be a kinder person for example?
And complaining will not bring me anywhere.
I think I want to learn how to be happy with my own life. Everything bad is a lesson for something good in the future. Perhaps a bit of Lady Gaga's Born This Way will be helpful =).
Sometimes it's amazed me. At this age, yet I still feel so many new things to learn.
