Mengejar Impian

Post ini narsis!

Masalah terbesar dari Kardy adalah: dia selalu punya target yang berbeda (baca: terlalu banyak maunya). Disuruh apa aja (sekolah keq.. kerja keq..) pasti banyak mainnya.

Kemarin gw dan anak2 sekolah berlibur ke Pulau Ubin, yup seperti Bobby dan teman2-nya. Bukan pertama kali memang gw ke Pulau Ubin, secara dulu pernah ketika gw masih muda.
Tapi ini pertama kalinya gw menjelajah pulau secuil itu dengan sungguh2 (secara dulu pergi dengan kakek2 dan nenek2 gitu looh).

Kita nyewa sepeda dan bersepeda "santai" keliling pulau. Perlu sekitar 30 menit untuk kenalan dengan sepeda sewaan, dan setelah itu we were a great partner! Ga jelek.. 3 x 7 speed hard tail mountain bike. Suspensi depan memang agak lousy tapi still manageable. Sepeda murahan memang (paling murah sewanya SGD 3, paling mahal SGD 10, sepeda ini SGD 5), tapi entah kenapa cocok betul... ada koneksi batin (halah).


Yang gw sendiri heran adalah.. ngga cape cuy (thanks to my bike..muach)! Rekan seperjalanan ngos2-an, protes kenapa gw terlalu cepat (yang ada gw malah muter2 dulu nunggu mereka..ya kali2 sok sosial dikit lah), dan kenapa gw nda pernah turun dari sepeda dan ngedorong pas tanjakan.
Medan bagi gw sih yaaaa... lumayan lah (kita ke timur, utara, en barat pulau) cuma diperberat dengan kita nge-goes di kitaran jam 1 siang ke atas...so lagi panas2-nya.

Hihihi...gw bisa ngomong dengan gayanya...duh yang namanya student itu.. harus sporty dunks =P.

Sejujurnya gw agak kaget juga... gw berharap antara gw kecelakaan (gw master-nya dalam hal kecelakaan kendaraan), pusing (panas gombreng gitu), atau muntah (my best buddy dalam olahraga).

Cuma waktu itu ada saat dimana gw senyum2 sendiri: "Koq kayanya gambarnya mulai tersusun yah".

Ketika muda dulu gw pernah bilang "Tek, gw pingin ikut triathlon" (see my 2009 post). Gila kali yah..Kardy yang muntah lari 3.2 km, beratnya 89 kg di SMU, pas SMP gendut, selalu duduk di pinggir lapangan pas jam olahraga.

Bagi gw sih ga masalah cita2 gila... mengutip kata Chicken Soup: "Gantunglah cita2-mu setinggi langit, kalaupun kamu tidak berhasil menggapainya, kamu masih akan berada di antara bintang2." So yup cita2 gw memang aneh2...jadi bintang bokep, gigolo, biologist, sex consultant, virologist, dll.

Sadar tidak sadar ketika kuliah gw memperbaiki renang. Pertama kali nyemplung ke kolam ITB, gaya bebas gw ancur, bisa sih bisa..tapi 50 m langsung muntah (gitu2 masih dapet A =P). Maklum dari kecil selalu spesialisasi di gaya dada.
Sampai tingkat 2, pas ketemu bule keren yang berenang gaya bebas jam 12 siang. Non-stop bo (makanya keren)! Sekali nyemplung bolak balik sampai naek lagi (entah berapa kali cuma yang pasti banyak). Dari "mencontoh" (plagiat ini) si bule itulah gw belajar long distance swimming untuk gaya bebas. Ooh.. kakinya ga usah semangat '45 banget... dikit2 juga OK.
Di tingkat akhir pun.. gw males lulus cepet2, mengulur waktu untuk belajar side swimming. Alih2 sibuk ngerjain TA, setiap sore ke kolam renang buat ngelatih side swimming gaya bebas (malemnya nge-DoTA). Pokoknya ogah lulus sampai bisa.

Ketika kerja gw memperbaiki skill sepeda. Untung dapet pos di Lampung yang satu kota jalanannya mirip jalanan kompleks perumahan. Asri bo! Lengkap dengan tanjakan dan turunan yang gila (serius gilanya). Well masih inget pertama kali goes ke kantor..langsung muntah! Dan pernah malemnya lembur ngerjain tender, paginya latihan tanjakan, siangnya mantap mimisan! Jatoh? wuih menggelinding masuk bahu jalan. Celana jeans sampe bolong (yg ini sakit..keseret aspal en gravel).

Ketika kuliah lagi sekarang...hihihi.. agenda tersembunyi gw adalah memperbaiki lari. Secara negara ini kondusif buat lari. Dulu 3.2 km muntah, sekarang 5km bisa 2x seminggu (biasa aja tuh), 10 km masih tenang2 aja. Sebenernya cape sih nda begitu... lebih ke bosen!
Makanya mau coba ikutan event marathon someday. Tahun lalu pingin ikut Stand Chard marathon, cuma kepentok presentasi Data Mining :(. Taon ini kali yaa... kalo masih di SG.

Dan yoga pun luar biasa membantu. Well secara gurunya sering ngomong: "Mind over body, and breath over mind. Thus breath is everything." Entah kenapa eh beneran loh setelah ikutan jadi bisa lebih tenang. Pegel kaki ketika goes di tanjakan.. mirip koq dengan posisi warrior one, warrior two, etc. Masalah panas pun teratasi dengan pernafasan yang lebih tenang.
Mo dibilang haram keq.. pokoknya senam yang ini mantap!

Kalau sekarang ngeliat ke belakang...rasanya ok juga ya. Someday entah kapan I'm going to nail that triathlon! Ga ngincer juara memang, cuma ngincer finish. Habis itu bisa deh mati dengan tenang (yup2 gw masih pingin mati muda en beautiful).
Daripada married, gw lebih memilih mengejar impian yg ini!

Btw gw sekarang bisa push-up loh (baru sadar 2 minggu belakangan ini)... ga semati-matian dulu :). Good job to myself!

No hard feeling, but it's all about the metric dear...

"I don't want to have kid(s)." once I said to my parents. And they said "Just see, your mindset will change as you grow older." But at this stage of life, 20+x going to 20+x+1 whereas x> 5, I really really really don't want to have a kid.

Perhaps I should share it to you: my future never-will-be child, why i don't want to be your parent. It's not because i don't love you nor because i'm selfish nor because i'm not afraid to die alone. But it's because: i consider every day, every single day in my life up until now, as NOT-interesting. And I truly hope that you will not suffer the same fate as me.

Our society and civilization has evolved so much. And at current date, at its glorious so called modern state, do you see what i see?
Twenty years back you could sell sweet soya sauce by claiming: "My sweet soya sauce is the best!"
However at current age, people will throw back your claim at your face and say "Uh-huh..what is the support of your claim?" Which is in simple term: you have to translate the term: BEST into something that can be understood by common people: NUMBERS!
For soya sauce the translation can be varies:

• The average change of number where the husband is eating home-cook food in one week from 1000 families.
• The average change of family members' body weight after a month using the given soya sauce.
• Or whatever as long as it displays good numerical properties.
  

So you can see my dear child, nowadays all the advertisements are not stating qualitative terms but rather displaying quantitative terms such as surveys, analytical results, etc.

This lead to another discussion: how do we value our own life?
My dear child, the greatest sin in our current society is not about blasphemy, denying so called holy ghost, etc.
But more into: sitting in false positions in too many properties (dimensions) of our society bell curves.
In other words: for a given property, you can't afford to be a standard more-over sub-standard. You have to be over the standard.

So if your intelligence = standard, face = standard, body = standard, communication ability = standard, etc1 = standard, etc2 = standard, ... etcn = standard, you know that you're in deep shit.
Yup my dear child, it is can be seen in our current society professional lives. Professor is someone whose intellectuality is over the standard, porn star is someone whose body and face are over the standard, etc.
If you are within standard, then welcome to join millions of other robotic-like, clone-like "ordinary" employees. If you are a sub-standard, then you're a trash.

My dear child,
since the very early stage of your life, you will be calculated, converted into numerical values so called marks. Yup, your quality is nothing more than numbers in your report sheet. Will i care about your desires, dreams, about how you treat others, or about how you view this world? Suddenly it will look like the soya sauce advertisement. No, i will not be able to understand you. I will choose the easiest path: by numerical values.

And since it is in numerical values, it will become easy to compare you and the others. Suddenly you will be placed inside the famous bell curve. The problem is the bell curve will shift according to the sample values. In other word, if you are a top in one property, you will be grouped with other tops and suddenly you become standard again. So what is the limit? What is the goal?

I also don't know. But say: if you were a top student in Stanfart, Hardfart, Institut Tai Burung, Not-Up-to-Standard, i would say that I am proud you! Because at that state, you stand as the over-standard outliers from thousands, millions perhaps, of people.

This will break my heart into pieces.

I really don't want to convert you into such values. I really want to consider you as an uniqueness. For whatever bell curves, you are always over the standard for me.
But yeah, i have to admit, the society doesn't permit me to. Even if i can protect you, but i can't protect you from society. When you go out, to find a job for example, you will be converted again, and the mighty bell curves will be put on you.
It is a slavery, we are the slaves, and our society is the master.

I always like the story where the hero is fighting monsters with strong righteous heart, or undead with faith. But currently we are fighting each other with yeah...metric. The numerical properties of our "self". There is no place for non-understandable terms like righteous heart, faith, etc.

I don't like this world. I do wish to be able to see other worlds, where metric will fail, where something else prevails. Perhaps in the other world there exists a method to view this world other than metric and numbers. Perhaps...and perhaps...

At the end, as silly as it seems, I do hope we can fight monsters and undead together, in the other world.

Grace and (Gospel of) Luke

Christianity in one word: grace. Famously introduced by Paul and even adopted into one of the five solus (sola fide, sola scriptura, sola gratia, solus Christus, and soli Deo gloria): the slogan of Protestant. In Paul's letter to the Ephesians, he wrote:

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--" (Ephesians 2:8, NIV)

The interesting question: is it true that Paul is the first to introduce the concept of grace?

It is noteworthy to take into account that some studies indicates Luke, the writer of the gospel, actually was a constant companion to Paul.

The story of Paul is originated in the book Act of Apostles (Acts) which is strongly indicated to be written by Luke as he addressed the book to the same person as his previous book (Gospel of Luke):

"... it seemed good also to me to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus" (Luke 1:3, NIV)

"In my former book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach..." (Acts 1:1, NIV).

And Paul also mention Luke in his letter to the Colossians:

"Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, sends greetings. So does Demas. " (Col 4:14, NIV)

So is it possible that Paul's understanding about Jesus was under influence from Luke? It is highly possible.

Though Luke is suggested to be the one who wrote last (from all synoptic gospels) and took some material from Gospel of Mark and Matthew, it is how he wrote his Gospel that make his Gospel unique compared to the previous two.

Luke tells the story that emphasizing heavily about Jesus as companion to the sinners. As someone who defend them, forgave their sins, and ultimately gave them their salvation. Something that the two previous Gospels (Matthew and Mark) even do not mention!

Let's take a look at a few examples:

Jesus anointed by a sinful woman (Luke 7:36-50)
(compare to Mat 26:6-13, Mark 14:1-11, John 12:1-11)
The others three Gospels mention about a woman that was going to anoint Jesus with perfume stored in an alabaster jar. But a disciple protested that the perfume should be sold instead and the money should be given to the poor.

But only Luke mentions that the woman was a sinner. She stood behind Jesus, at his feet weeping, and wet his feet with her tears. And later on she wiped them with her hair.

The Pharisee saw this and said "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him: a sinner".

And at the end of the story Jesus said to her "Your sins are forgiven."

The Parable of the Lost Son (Luke 15:11-31)
This parable, found exclusively in Luke, tells story about a young son that asked for his share from his father. After he got his share, he set off for distant country and squandered all his wealth for wild living.

Eventually all his wealth was gone, and with nothing to eat, he wanted to fill his stomach with pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. Then he intended to go home to his father, but because he had sinned against his father, he only intended to become one of his father hired man.

But as his father saw him, he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. As the son spoke his thought to be his father hired man, the father said to his servants to bring the best robe and put it on him. And also to kill the fattened calf and prepare a feast to celebrate.

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)
This parable also appears exclusively in Luke. It should be noted that at Jesus' time, the Jews were under the occupancy of Roman. Jews as strong monotheistic followers were obliged to pay tribute to Roman, a polytheistic nation. This brought bad notion to the tax collector occupation (as a sinful occupation), moreover because they were said to always collect more than what they supposed to.

Two man went up to the temple and pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.

The Pharisee prayed "God, I thank you that I am not like the other men -- robbers, evildoers, adulterers or even like this tax collector."

The tax collector stood far away, beat his breast and said "God have mercy on me, a sinner."

And Jesus told that the tax collector went home justified before God.

Zacchaeus the Tax Collector (Luke 19:1-9)
The third story found exclusively in Luke.

As Jesus entered Jericho, a tax collector named Zacchaeus wanted to see Jesus and since he was a short man, he climbed a tree to see him.

Jesus reached the tree, looked up, and said to Zacchaeus that he must stay at his house today. As the people saw this, they began to mutter "He has gone to be the guest of a sinner."

But Zacchaeus stood up and said "Look here and now I give half my possessions to the poor. And if i have cheated anybody, I will pay back four times the amount."

Jesus said to him "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man too is a son of Abraham."

The Two Other Crucified Men at the Crucifixion(Luke 23:39-43)
(compare to Mat 27:38, Mark 15:32, John 19:32)
This is by far the boldest step in Gospel of Luke.

Matthew and John agree that there were two other men crucified together with Jesus. Mark however added that those crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

But Luke tells different story:
One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!"
But the other criminal rebuked him. "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."
Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."
Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."


Whether Luke conducted more research, or merely crafted those stories is the unknown fact. However through his writings the foundation of grace in Christianity is put. That the path to salvation is not by weighing sins and good deeds but merely because God's love for mankind including sinners.

It is worthy also to look at the last Gospel: John, which is still debatable, the last of the four gospels.

(Gospel of) John mentions literaly:

"For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." (John 1:17, NIV).

And John also tells the famous story because of its portrayal in Mel Gibson's movie: The Passion. This story however is debatable since nearly all the biblical scholars agreeed that this story is a later addition to the Gospel. New International Version (NIV) stated "The earliest and most reliable manuscripts and other ancient witnesses do not have John 7:53-8:11.

A story, however inaccurate, is always worthy to take a look (John 8:1-11):

The Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery and said to Jesus: "Teacher, the law of Moses commanded us to stone such women, now what do you say?"

Jesus bent down and started to scribble the ground with his finger. When they kept asking he said "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

After hearing this, one by one go away until only Jesus was left. Jesus asked the woman "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
"No one, sir" she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you." Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Gay yang terlalu lebay

Tuh kan ribut deh soal ILGA Asia.

OOT: Semenjak menginstall Firefox versi Indonesia di tab terbaru selalu muncul update news dari Okezone. Cool! Jadi ga ketinggalan deh gosip2 terkini dari tanah air.

Mungkin kritik bagi penyelenggara, aduh kalian itu koq lebay sekali. Kenapa pilih tempat penyelenggaraan di Surabaya? Yang jelas2 kalian tahu kulturnya tidak memungkinkan. Oke-lah walaupun hukum, HAM, dan tetek bengeknya membenarkan, tapi yang terjadi adalah kalian akan mengadu domba kepolisian dan elemen2 masyarakat.

Terus bagaimana ke depannya? Enak? Toh kalian menyadari betul ada LGBT yang menetap di Surabaya. Tamu undangan datang seminggu dan pulang, yang penduduk tetap? Enak interaksinya dengan warga setempat? Mungkin di masa yang akan datang polisi pun bakal ngedumel kalau kalian menyelenggarakan acara.
Yang ditakutkan adalah dari kekisruhan ini akan muncul fobia2 LGBT baru, yang akan berdampak panjang ke masa yang akan datang.

Apa yang dicari? Hak? Kalau penyelenggaraannya kisruh, kalian yakin ada yang mau mendengarkan deklarasinya? Rasanya yang paling dibutuhkan LGBT adalah integrasi dengan keluarga dan masyarakat, bukan sebaliknya.

Kalian punya sejuta pekerjaan rumah ketimbang mempermasalahkan hak.

Coba ubah dulu stereotip masyarakat tentang waria. Bahwa waria itu tidak semuanya hanya penjaja jasa seks di pinggir jalan, kapster salon, ahli rias, dll. Ada lho waria yang bersekolah tinggi, bekerja sebagai profesional, pengusaha, dll. Seperti contoh ini.

Coba ubah pandangan masyarakat bahwa gay(lesbian included) itu tidak selalu alay, mabuk dengan kebebasan seks, bahasanya harus diterjemahkan dengan kamus gaul Debby Sahertian, gaya bahasanya pake lenggak lenggok, tukang godain cowo straight dengan ucapan paling terkenal: "Iih..lucu deh kamu...(sambil menoel)", dll. Tunjukin dong kalau ada gay yang bisa stay dalam monogamous relationship, ada gay yang anak motor, dll.

Sebagai organisasi sosial seharusnya GAYa Nusantara sadar akan hal-hal tersebut, instead of langsung dan secara sadar main kasar seperti penyelenggaraan kongres ILGA ini.

Dan perlu disadari tidak semua daerah seperti Surabaya, lalu kenapa pilih Surabaya? Sama halnya dengan memilih Aceh, bunuh diri.
Mungkin perlu dicoba Jakarta, Q! Film Festival ok2 saja koq. Atau Bali...atau mungkin ga perlu kali ya di Indonesia. Apa sih yang mau ditunjukkan dari Indonesia sebagai host acara ini? Sama koq kasusnya dengan PSSI ingin jadi host Piala Dunia: belum saatnya.

Kalau LGBT Indonesia keren, kalau kalian peduli dan mau saling membantu anggota kalian yang paling lemah (bisa lewat advokasi, beasiswa silang, penggalangan trust fund abadi, career network, dll), kalian akan punya banyak pilihan! Dan orang lain pun akan terpaksa mengakui!

Contoh di Singapura yang gay terang2-an dilarang dengan Penal Code 377A:
"..and half of it was focus on the Professor Kerry Sieh, who was approached by NTU to be the founding director of the Earth Observatory of Singapore ($287 million, supported by our government).

The newspaper reported that the first question Prof Sieh asked NTU (when he was approached for the post) was whether or not he can bring his boyfriend here. NTU said no problem."

Dan untuk orang2 yang menolak. Hanya mau share saja. Bagi gw daripada sibuk membenci, mengutuk, mengkhawatirkan kalau Tuhan bakal mengirim hujan api, dll. Lebih penting saat ini adalah sama2 mendukung satu dan lainnya untuk memajukan Indonesia. Maksimalkan potensi setiap penduduk Indonesia supaya bisa bersaing di tingkat dunia. Bagaimana orang bisa maju kalau ditolak di keluarga dan masyarakat?

Dan LGBT juga harus begitu. Tunjukin dong: "Gw waria.. kalau cewe biasa cuma kuliah S1, gw harus PhD!" Itu dikasih jempol tangan dan kaki dah! Dan kalian akan menyadari bahwa dunia terbuka untuk kalian. Indonesia menolak? Yang rugi Indonesia sendiri.

Bizarre Love Story

I hate movie that left you still wondering after it ends.

This is an old movie (2000), but i just watched this weekend. Scored 7.4/10 in IMDB, this movie slightly remind me of Public Enemy, the kind of movie that will leave you snoring in the middle. True, while watching this movie, I snored at the middle part.


Supposedly this is a gay themed movie, true the story is about gay relationship, but the way it is told is so not gay typical.

In "typical" gay movie usually everything that revolves around the main character suddenly is gay. Whether it is new stranger from out of town, the lifesaver, new buddy, classmate, bestfriend, your bestfriend's brother or whatever. And also the movie usually displays generous amount of male's body and male-to-male sex scenes. Not to mention cheesy dialogue that sometimes makes you roll your eyes: "Oh that is sooo GAY!"

But this movie? Surprise surprise! No male-to-male sex scene! And no body display except neccessary. The only two sex scenes are heterosexual. And the only male-to-male kissing scene is at the end part of the movie. Yet I agree with the big writings: "Intensely Erotic". The sparks from the two gay characters are flying everywhere.

The full plot can be found at wiki. The main characters are Nene and Angel. Nene is kind of big brother (he mentioned Angel as his "twin brother"), the part of the sane one. While Angel, half psychotic (he always hears "voices"), represents cute little brother yet with hidden violent tendency. They are gay couple since the beginning of the movie and met at the station restroom.

The theme of the movie is dark (even when the scene is bright), full of drugs and booze. And from my perspective, the story is about refinding (or is it reconfirmation of?) their love. Nene through adventure with women, men, and last: Giselle. And Angel through dealing with his "voices" (went to church, using drugs). And sweetly but heart wrenchingly, at the most unfortunate moment, they found each other again. Nene choosed Angel over Giselle, and at the same time throwing away the chance to escape, and Angel could no longer hearing "voices" in his head.

It is so bizarrely beautiful. The love story between those two is represented in unobvious way. You can tell from eye contacts, tender actions, but never never clearly displayed (at least not until the end part of the movie). And what i like the most from these characters: they never regret things that they've done. Not for once I heard them spoke "I'm sorry". It seems like, through pain and sorrow, they were celebrating their life.

My favorite scene (yet it seems it is a favorite scene for other people as well since i can easily find it at Youtube) is when Angel found out that Nene is unfaithful (notice that the Spanish for "lovebite" is similar with Indonesian term =)). Angel's stare is just...



This movie definetly wow-ed me. Thumb up for the director and actors for making gay themed movie yet so not gay!
And since it based on true story, I wish real Nene and Angel are happy wherever they are now.

Guru yang Disayang, Guru yang Dibenci

Guru pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa? Weits tunggu dulu.
Mungkin ya untuk guru seperti Bu Muslimah di Laskar Pelangi.
Tapi benarkah semua guru seperti itu?

Sebagai murid yang tidak pernah menjadi murid baik2... sepanjang hidup ini banyak guru yang gw benci, tapi juga ada yang tetap menjadi teladan di hati dan meninggalkan kesan yang baik.

Guru yang gw benci (dan tak termaafkan):

• Guru pencuri. Dengan mengatasnamakan aturan sekolah seenaknya menyita barang2 murid yang "tidak berhubungan dengan pelajaran". OK kita sebagai murid juga tahu, kita salah. Tapi plis2 mengerti... kalian sebagai guru pun punya barang2 pribadi di meja kalian di ruang guru. Apa mentang2 kalian orang dewasa kalian boleh, terus kami sebagai murid tidak?! Tahu malu sedikit... Tidak sedikit lho barang2 tsb bernilai pribadi (diary, foto, etc) yang tidak ternilai! Kalaupun disita...plis..plis disimpan dan dikembalikan ketika murid lulus. Apa sih ruginya buat kalian? Apa kalian terlena dengan kebagusan barang kami..sehingga kalian mau juga?
• Guru "sok sok disiplin" dan tukang cari kambing hitam. Gw pernah lupa bawa buku matematika ketika SMA, benar2 kelupaan. Sang Guru yang Maha Benar datang, dan gw bilang "Maaf Pak, lupa bawa". Sang Guru diam.. lalu berjalan ke depan kelas dan berbicara: "Kalian kalau sekolah yang niat yah, jangan seperti Kardy..buku aja tidak dibawa.. bagaimana mau serius." CUIH! Muntah saya Pak! Kalau mau ngomong di depan gw! Ngga usah nyenyes begitu. F*CK face! Benar koq mulai saat itu terjadi "everlasting battle" antara gw sama dia. Berakhir dengan dia mengusir gw dari kelas dan tidak boleh mengikuti pelajaran di dalam kelas lagi. Soook terserah... emang gw butuh pelajaran lu.. selama gw masih bisa ulangan sih gw fine2 aja. Walaupun akhirnya dengan saran beberapa teman yang menganjurkan untuk minta maaf.."Akting aja Dy..kita murid.. kalau nentang guru kita yang rugi nantinya." Gw juga sadar, gw di posisi lemah, ortu gw seumur2 ga pernah ngedukung gw. Akhirnya gw minta maap dengan bonus air mata berkat latihan teater (walaupun dalam hati gw bersumpah.. ga bakal gw maafin elo!). SUKSES! Tapi setelah itu, gw kaga pernah mau tau itu guru ngapain, ketemu di gereja pun gw ngelengos pergi. Sori Pak.. maafnya ngga tulus! Salah sendiri percaya!
• Di kuliah kembali ketemu guru seperti itu ketika semester pendek Fisika Dasar. Sayangnya gw tidak selemah ketika di SMA. Sang guru membenci gw yang mengambil semester pendek dengan nilai B. OK Pak.. bring it on! Semua soal yang sulit, pasti nyebut di depan kelas "Yak Kardy bisa??". Perlu ya Pak...perlu?? Pas bagiin hasil UTS semester pendek, tampangnya kusut sekali karena nilai gw masih 8.2 (A = 7.5). Di saat itulah gw sadar.. do not try too hard. Dan gw nyaris ketawa ngeliat soal UAS semester pendek. SUSAH! Well setidaknya gw pikir begitu melihat kualitas kelas sepanjang semester. Soalnya sih.. maaf Pak... biasa aja =P! Toh saya kosongkan dua nomor agar Bapak puas dan saya tetap B. Bukan karena ga bisa (struktur konsep sudah di kepala) tapi malas ngitung! Begitu gw ngelihat hasil nilai...jreng..jreng..jreng...yup gw tetap B, tapi yang laen... aduh lucunya...yang C jadi D, ada yang jadi E huahahahaha... untung rekan sesama IF nilainya tidak menjadi rusak (malah lebih bagus kalau nda salah).
  

Guru yang baik:

• Pas SMP kelas dua gw rajanya nyontek. Well ada seorang guru yang menyadarkan gw kalau gw salah. Begitu gw ketahuan menyontek di pelajaran geografi, kertas ulangan gw langsung dirobek. Dan dia bilang "Kenapa sih tidak bangga dengan hasil kerjaan sendiri?" Jujur gw rada shock waktu itu, walaupun bagi gw nda masalah mo nilai 0 pun (waktu itu gw selalu rangking bontot di kelas). Tapi sejak saat itu gw berjanji...gw ngga bakal pikirin apapun nilai gw.. mau ortu ribut seribut apapun.. TERSERAH! Yang penting hasil kerja sendiri. Yang berkesan adalah, ketika kelulusan kelas tiga Sang Guru datang menghampiri. Dan dia mengajak bersalaman dan mengucapkan "Selamat ya...". Sempat bingung.. lah kenapa.. seumur2 di SMP ngga pernah berprestasi..ngapain diselamatin. Ternyata oh ternyata.. walaupun tidak disebut, tapi NEM gw no-4 satu sekolah (yang disebut no. 1- 3)! Well.. pada waktu itu gw kaga peduli dengan NEM (yang penting ngga nyontek)... hahahaha.. seumur2 gw selalu berterima kasih dengan guru ini. Tenang Pak.. ngga pernah nyontek lagi di ulangan sampai sekarang! Dan hasil ulangan pun tak pernah saya pikirkan.
• Wali kelas 3 ketika di SMA. Pada saat itu ada razia sepatu di sekolah, dan sepatu gw termasuk salah satu yang disita. Gw waktu itu marahnya bukan main karena memang warnanya putih dan yang berwarna hanya logonya. Gw masih ingat tampangnya ketika nawarin: "Bagaimana kalau kamu Bapak beri uang dan beli sepatu baru ke CL (Citraland) sana." Gw melihat itu jujur.. sebagai peace offering yang tulus. Tapi bukan guru ini yang bersalah! Yang bersalah adalah kepala sekolah dan guru2 penjilat di sekitarnya. Pada waktu itu gw menolak. Bukan apa Pak.. ini bukan salah Bapak. Biarkan aja.. toh kalau sepatu disita ya tidak usah pakai sepatu aja. Sampai sekarang koq Pak.. masih teringat kejadian itu =).

Ketika gw kembali ke SMA setelah sekian tahun lamanya. Wah rasanya nostalgia sekali... dan beberapa guru masih mengenali gw "Kamu dulu gendut kan??", ada juga yang "Hmm kamu dulu biang ribut." Hahahahaha! Tapi sayangnya yang sworn enemy tetap sworn enemy. Ngarepin gw untuk menyapa?? Hmmmppfff sorry bye2...

Gw tahu kalau cing-cong-nya orang tua kalau guru itu harus mendisiplinkan anak didiknya, etc..etc. Tapi gw juga percaya kalau anak didik itu bukan kambing atau anjing. Dan sekolah itu believe it or not, bukan hanya pusat pendidikan. Itu bagian tak terpisahkan dari kehidupan seorang murid. Boleh tidak kalian toleran sedikit? Menutup mata untuk pelanggaran yang tidak penting?
Setuju sekali lagi bahwa kebiasaan buruk akan terbawa2 sampai ke masyarakat. Tapi juga sakit hati. Apa sih salahnya berdamai dengan murid? Bolehlah di hari kelulusan.
Apakah segitu banyaknya murid sehingga kalian bisa lupa mana saja yang sudah kalian sakiti secara spesial?

Spesial untuk F*CK FACE math teacher..sampai sekarang saya masih sering lupa bawa buku tuh Pak. Saya juga sering ga peduli mau guru ngajar apa di kelas (sering ngobrol, tidur, now: maen fb). Toh saya baik2 saja =). Teori Bapak tentang siswa yang serius di sekolah? KE LAUT AJA!

Hari gene masih perawan??

Hari gini, kalo gw ketemu cewe yang masih perawan, gw malah suspect macem2. Well kalopun masih perawan setidaknya udah petting atau heavy foreplay atau oral dong...
Kalo masih belum juga..WHAAATT!!!
Ada yg ga beres sama cewenya... entah cewenya geek abis, atau gak laku, atau over fanatik, aduh pastinya susyah deh.

Pas SMA, pernah reunian dengan temen2 baik SMP. Semuanya geng cowo. Dan kita pernah membahas masalah atau ga sih keperawan itu.
Ada teman yang keukeuh sekali ttg pentingnya keperawanan itu.

Gw sih waktu itu bilang ngga penting, argumennya adalah:

1. Gw kaga suka seks darah2-an. Gile kali yaa.... ngebayanginnya aja eneg (itu berdarah terus masih disodok2 begitu..aaah tidaaak). Kalo emang suka ya maen aja pada saat cewenya mens. Gw sih lewat dah fetish soal darah (terserah dah orang Jepang mau bikin film fetish soal darah)...kalo maen pipis masih seksi :P.
2. Emang cowo juga masih perawan?? Well kalo diitung dengan tangan kanan, gw udah ga perawan koq dari kelas 3 SD (waktu itu bahkan masih belum keluar apa2 lho...). En gw yakin dengan statistik yang bilang 95+% lebih cowo pernah onani..it's normal gitu lho..
   
3. Yg namanya perasaan "Aduh senengnya cewe gw masih suci, dll" itu mah lewat aja. Dijamin yg namanya perasaan kaga bakal tahan lama. Yg namanya buka segel itu cuma sekali tho...kaga bisa diulang tiap hari. 10-20 taon juga lupa...jadi kakek nenek juga kerjanya ribut mlulu.

Ketika kuliah..duh semoga tidak dijadikan contoh, cuma masa2 kuliah gw memang anomali dari yang seharusnya. Well my defences are.. tahun pertama habis untuk ospek, tahun kedua , ketiga gw pasang kawat gigi (practically no sex in the city). Tahun keempat..ehm.. my first oral (dilanjutkan dengan 2nd..3rd, etc).

Untungnya lulus kuliah gw kembali ke peradaban modern yang normal .. fiuh... Welcome Starbucks! Die you all hypocrite students (especially for anak2 K*.. kalo inget gimana dulu..wew.. gw masih ga seneng sampe sekarang)! Aurat aurat orang ngapain lu urusin! Kalo ga mau liat..ya colok aja mata lu sendiri. Masa berenang mau tutup aurat..heleh2...

En sekarang?? Gw ga pernah ngaku perawan koq. I'm not a virgin..period (have i done the hardcore?? Ehm..details are still a secret =P). Dan gw juga ga expect pasangan gw untuk perawan koq. Fair and square. Malah kalo serius gw lebih ke arah "test drive sebelum membeli". Pastinya doong.... beli alat elektronik yang dipake 1-2 taon aja sekarang gitu, masa ini yang katanya dipake sampe akhir hayat ga begitu.
En untungnya gw really really not into someone yg baik2 ... so boring ("Saya hobinya berdoa... saat teduh".. matek..:hammer:). Tapi gw juga males dengan orang yg otaknya di dengkul. Yah era milenium gini setidaknya diferensial bisa dong! Susah sih nyarinya..makanya gw single terus (tapi bukan berarti sexually inactive =P).

Well at the end, pentingnya keperawanan itu masalah selera koq.

Yg ngomong begini (sumber)
"Seorang wartawan Amerika Latin berkata, “Saya tidak menduga remaja Indonesia begitu bebas, melebihi negara kami…..’"

Aduh Bapak ini kamp*ng betul... ini Asia gitu loh.. The next economic center of the world. Bahkan the freest economy dipegang oleh Hongkong! Bukan Eropa atau Amerika! Masa mau dibandingin sama Amerika Latin.. ya jauh toh yoo...
Udah lewat masa2 Asia itu konservatif, menutup diri...Sekarang Asia embraces the world. Flow of information, money, people dari seluruh dunia mengalir ke Asia, bukan Amerika Latin!

En Indonesia..mau tidak mau... harus melangkah maju juga, bersama efek2 sampingnya :D. Gw pribadi malah bersyukur Indonesia bisa maju dengan segala kebebasannya. Memang perlu diakui ada beberapa oknum masyarakat yang masih norak (mungkin termasuk Bapak.. ngapain sih sirik betul, coba bandingin deh ke Thailand sono..). Semoga bisa teratasi dengan meningkatnya mutu pendidikan.

'Nuff said, t's not apple to apple comparison!

Lesbian....

Truly the wonder of the world. Now everytime I'm watching American Idol, I can't help staring at Ellen and wondering: "How is your sex life?? Is it good...??"

Once in a lifetime I fancy (still actually) Portia de Rossi as Nelle Porter in Ally McBeal TV show. Oh my gosh...a smile like sunshine, blonde hair but smart, and an attitude like a real bitch.
Geeezz...that one hell of a woman. I always dream....that someday I would find a girl like her. Nice smile is always my weak spot. The bitchy attitude and the sharp tounge? It would like a perfect cherry on top of a blackforest cake.

Bbbuuuttt...later on she openly declared herself as a lesbian and now married with Ellen deGeneres?!?!?!
Aaarrgh... that really broke my heart. At least now I can understand my high school friend's feeling when she discovered that Mark Feehily is gay.

As a child, I knew a couple of lesbians. They opened an electrical shop in the outskirt of the city, whereas my pop opened an electrical shop in the middle of the city. They used to come, bought a few things, chatted, and learned the tricks of trade from my father.
Later on they introduced Tupperware to my mom.
At that time, as a kid, I always thought that they were husband and wife. I meant the "male" was wearing trousers, having short hair cut, and smoking.
As I grew older, I realized that "something" was wrong, and I asked my mom: "Are they husband and wife?". Hearing the answer from my mom, my mind went WOOOT!! How come?!? But at the same time I couldn't deny it, the thought: "Hmm.... interesting."

Suddenly the world is not black and white! I realized that you may not have a single path in your life: getting married, having children, and die in an agonizing old age!
You can really choose!

In Singapore I used to work part time job. And at my workplace, one of the female employee is also in lesbian relationship. This make the second lesbian couple that I've known personally. And what I envy from them: they did kiss in public! Aaaw...so sweet.

So much I don't know about their copulation process, but I kind of glad that this "weird" thing do happen. I really do agree that all this "abnormality" make life more colorful.

And as usual, I envy people who have made their choice for life.

Pelecehan Seksual.....

Entah apa yang di pikiran orang2, emangnya cowo bisa seenaknya diperlakukan tidak senonoh begitu!

Hari ini naek lift, karena memang dasarnya tidak suka manusia, gw berdiri di pojok lift. Terus masuk auntie2. Berdirinya koq mepet di depan gw banget...padahal masih ada ruang bolong tuh di bagian depan liftnya.

Makin lama makin mepet (gw berdirinya sampe tegak lurus begitu)...eh terus kurang ajar, bab* hutan, keb*, anj*ng...seenak jidatnya NYENDER ke gw! Woooiii itu bagian depan bolong gitu...bukan lift-nya kurang tempat!!
Masya ampun...itu bener2 nda deh...gw seumur2 sepadat2-nya lift (yg kali ini tidak padat!), selalu berusaha menghindari yang namanya bersentuhan dengan wanita (apalagi kesentuh boobs-nya..no..no..no).
Ini...dia nyender ke dada gw! Aduh gila romantisnya ya bow...kalo orang ngeliat kesannya kaya gw berondongnya kali..AARRGGHH!!!

Memang di Singapur sama kurang ajarnya kaya di Indo. Gw ogah pipis di toilet MRT Clementi and Chinatown (blacklist!). Oom2-nya pada "pipis" en ngintip terang2-an! Masa pipis badannya pake dicondongin ke belakang en terang2-an ngeliat ke arah "situ".

Di Indo kejadian dua kali gw.

Pertama naek busway. Ada cewe di depan gw..lumayan padat sih waktu itu. Eeeh masa pantatnya digesek2-in ke arah well.."under the stomach area". Awalnya sih punya pikiran positif..ooh padet kali ya..ga sengaja. Eeeeh tapi koq berulang2..pake gerakan memutar lagi. Lagian kalo cewenya normal nyadar donk..dia gesek ke bagian mananya cowo..minimal jaga jarak gitu..nah ini nda... Gw mundur..eh dia mundur en ngegesekin lagi.
B*biiiii!!!! Pas turun pake curi pandang segala lagi...iiih bener2 ngga deh!

Terus pernah sekali...pas pulang kerja dari Siemens. Gw naek bus pulang ke Tangerang. Kan perlu tuker ke angkot tuh. Nah pas naek angkot seperti biasa tas gw pangku di depan (kalo ditaroh di bawah rawan copet soalnya ga keliatan kan tuh). Nah satu cowo naek juga (dari bus Jkt-Tng yang sama) duduk di sebelah gw. Tasnya juga dia pangku di depan.
Angkot berjalan...gw mulai merasa ada tangan grepe2. "OMG..copet!!" pikir gw. Tapi karena dompet en hape gw taroh di tas..ya gw pikir sok aja.

Masalaaaahnya........tangannya koq ngga ke arah kantong seperti lazimnya (gw pernah kejadian dengan modus ini..pas SMA...cuman di kantong gw cuma ada dasi sekolah..ya gw cuekin aja). Dia grepe2 ke arah paha..en lama2 merambat ke arah inner paha pake gerakan membelai lagi.
Tiidaaaaaakkk!!! Curi2 pandang lagi!
Mau teriak susah...entar orang pikir ada apa sih copet bukan, mengancam nyawa juga bukan...mau turun lah ini udah malem (jam 9+) susah cari angkot lagi. Terus gak bisa geser..angkotnya fully loaded.
Gw cuma berharap tangannya jangan sampe ke bagian tengah paha...plis2..jangan.
Untungnya dia turun duluan..fiiiuh....

Susah kalo cowo begini mah. Mau teriak ntar dikirain apaan..(bencong kali yee). Huh gender!
Bingung gw menariknya gw apaan. Baju biasa, badan gitu2 aja, tampang NEEEERRDDD banget, celana kaga pernah seksi2 amat (gw keluar rumah selalu pake norma celana harus di bawah lutut).

Kenapa ya dengan manusia . Mau pegang ngomong aja deh...sini gw kasih pegang, mau liat juga ngomong..gw kasih liat. Susah betul hidup yang sudah sulit ini!

Menjadi Bangsa yang Beranjing

Congrats untuk film Hachiko: A Dog's Story. Walaupun tidak box office, walaupun adaptasi ulang, walaupun udah tau ceritanya, tetep aja pas nonton air mata tidak berhenti beleleran.
Heran..untuk film binatang rasanya hati ini lemah sekali.

Congrats juga buat setidaknya..at least...paling sedikit...ketika orang keluar gedung bioskop, mulai ada orang yang mulai bertanya kenapa anjing Akita dilarang di Singapura.

Beruntunglah orang Jepang punya anjing nasional seperti Hachi. Mau ceritanya dibajak ke manapun, mau yang maen orang apapun, tapi begitu melihat Hachi, kalo yang maen tetep anjing Akita, mau tidak mau semua orang akan tahu: "Ooh ini anjing Jepang".

Well, Hachi adalah breed Akita. Hanya sekilas melihat anjing ini sudah terasa nuansa Nippon-nya. Yang pertama matanya yg sipit, bulunya yg fluffy, pintar dan loyal. Mengingatkan dengan tentara Jepang yang demikian loyalnya sehingga mau terbang masuk cerobong asap kapal di Pearl Harbour. Breed2 Jepang lainnya (ex: Shiba inu) juga bermata sipit.

Sadar tidak sadar karakteristik anjing sangat mirip dengan karakteristik negara asal. Mungkin karena memang best buddy-an dengan manusia lokal, mengerjakan pekerjaan lokal, dan punya fisik yang beradaptasi dengan lingkungan lokal.
Contoh saja, AGJ (anjing gembala Jerman), yang paling sering dipakai di kepolisian. Terkenal dengan gabungan kepintaran dan kemampuan bekerja kerasnya (bukan anjing terpintar, bukan pula anjing terkuat, tapi diakui no, 1 di kombinasi keduanya). Tidak cakep2 amat..tapi karismanya..wuih! Bagi gw sih, entah bagaimana mengungkapkan dengan kata2: "Anjing ini Jerman banget!"

Sedih untuk mengakui, tapi Indonesia bukan negara anjing. Mungkin karena budaya yang menganggap anjing sebagai sesuatu yang hina, pengganggu, bahkan bahan makanan.
"Anjing" dipakai sebagai kata umpatan...bukan pujian, yang anehnya kadang kelakuan anjing berpuluh2 kali lipat lebih baik dari manusia-nya.
Sering anjing diracun, ditembak =(
Padahal kata Mahatma Gandhi:
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated”.

A glitter of hope: anjing Kintamani. Terima kasih kepada warga Bali yang baik kepada anjing, sedikitnya orang Indonesia bisa berbangga.
If one day, anjing ini diakui Federation Cynologique Internationale, orang pasti akan "Ini anjing cantik berasal dari mana sih??".

Dan mudah2-an: "Liat deh anjingnya pemberani, cerdas, dan setia, mirip dengan orang Indonesia kan?!"

Semoga Indonesia nantinya boleh punya anjing nasional!

To Change The Yesterday

Last Christmas holiday, I spent so much time catching up to watch movie that I had skipped along the way (since this God damn study force me to have no life at all!). One of the most anticipated movie to watch was Star Trek (2009).

Since I was a child, there are two series which became my favorites: Star Trek and Sea Quest DSV (Deep Sea Vessel). These series helped me since I always dream to be born not of this boring world. I've spent almost all night on my teenage years with Captain Picard (of USS Enterprise), Nathan Bridger (of Sea Quest), and Kathryn Janeway (of USS Voyager), which resulted in sleep beyond usual curfew.

My mom once said "Oh this TV series is so suitable to trick little kids". Which I found right now is correct.

For whatever reason, Star Trek 2009 failed to trick me. I've tried "to be tricked" but it just failed.
How come they are still doing the "back to yesterday" thing!

The story is Spock's vessel and Romulan ship fell into a blackhole and suddenly transported back to the past, which later on the Romulan ship destroyed USS Kelvin and Vulcan homeworld.

For current physic world, and for understandable logic and reason, travelling back to the past is considered much more complicated than travelling to the future (which can be achieved by make use of time dilatation a.k.a travelling with the speed of light).

Stephen Hawking (one of the most famous great thinker still living today) once quoted "the best evidence we have that time travel is not possible, and never will be, is that we have not been invaded by hordes of tourists from the future."

Another conjecture is you can only travel back in time only until the time when you created the time travel device. Suppose that you can open a portal to the future (say 3 minutes later). And 3 minutes in the future you throw an apple to it. The apple should come out at the moment you opened the portal. It can't go to the time beforehand, because the portal will have not been created!

Then how come Spock and Romulan ship transported back until the time when even the red matter have not been created? If you say the blackhole distort the fabric of space and time so enormously that it spans over time, then when Romulan ship created blackhole in the center of Vulcan homeworld, rather than only destroying the present Vulcan homeworld, it will also destroy the "past version" of Vulcan homeworld, and vice versa the "future version" of it. The how come Vulcan race is still exist?

The other physic fiascos are explained here:
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2009/05/08/ba-review-star-trek/

Nevertheless I'm still a fans of Star Trek! This is a show that boldy dare to go where no man has gone before.

Friendship got into me again.....

I hate it..i hate it...i hate it...i hate it....

You share the joy but at the end.. the pain will also come to you.

Why should I care? Life goes on like a river... it should wash everything including friendship away. But why some friends are so stubborn, occupying certain space in heart and mind, even the mighty time can't wash it away.

Because they also care about me? WHY SHOULD YOU PEOPLE FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME?!?!?!
Friendship is making use of other person... in the name of friendship you manipulate others so you can reap benefit from it.
But why some tiny number from all of those remain priceless?

Today, again, friendship managed to make me cried my tears.

Indonesia, a new phase

I love Indonesian language very much! On a recent conversation with a Malaysian
X : How come you know so little Chinese? Don't Indonesian school teach Chinese to their students?
Me: On my school years, no. But now I think some school do teach Chinese.
X : So do you like Indonesian language?
Me : Yes, very much (inaudible: especially the harsh words).
X : I am a Malaysian, but I like Chinese and I don't like Malaysian language.
Me : Ho.. ho oh.. (inaudible: with the language as sh*tty as Malaysian, I also don't like)

Used to: bring back shopping result from Singapore
Now: bring to Singapore shopping result from Jakarta (you just can't resist all those made in Indonesia stuffs: Eiger, Converse, Reebok, L-Men, and the most important thing of all: Indomie!).

Me: Mom, don't you want to do medical check up at..... Singapore?
Mom: Halah... why must go far away, Si-lo-on (it is how my mom spell: Siloam) is also good. If you earn your money in Tangerang then spend it at Tangerang.

"Kardy, when you come back from Indonesia, you look fresher and more cheerful"
Of course lah.. all those pollutions, unhealthy too-salty too-spicy food, cheap fruits, siomay, ketoprak, satay, padang food. It brings refreshment to body and soul.

"Hey, where have you been? We missed you at RPM class." (@SMS, somebody, who I know the face but I don't know the name)
Only in Indonesia the RPM class can consist of songs request, fun bike session (we called it "Sepeda Santai"), and even hilly graveyard chase.
In Singapore it always like spin until you die session.

On a conversation after dinner (Jakarta):
X: "Can't you imagine Kardy? I mean ... it was just sex..!"
Me: "Then then.. how would you plan to tell your future husband?"
X: "I would tell him that I'm a very active girl"
Me: OK.... =)) (inaudible: I just love Indonesia!)

Necrophilia: to love death

When I spent my vacation back at Jakarta (well 50-50, Jakarta and Tangerang), I read an opinion article about recent bombing at JW Mariott and Ritz Carlton Jakarta. Well, as an Indonesian, bombing is kind of practical joke already. It just went off: BOOOM! And that's all, life goes on as usual. Who cares anyway?!

The article's title is quite intriguing, containing a word "Necrophilia". Which at that time made me wonder, who the hell in Indonesia just fucked with dead people? But as I read, I was a little bit disappointed because nobody fucked with corpse (aaaawww...), instead the article mentions necrophilia as people who side with death, who choose to embrace death instead of life.

"Terorisme merupakan sebuah paham yang mencintai kematian, kerusakan, kehancuran atau apa yang sering kita dengar sebagai nekrofilia.

Kaum teroris membenci kehidupan (biofilia) yang tidak sesuai dengan harapannya dan merasa hanya memiliki satu cara untuk menghadapinya, yakni menghancurkan segala sesuatu."

http://koran.kompas.com/read/xml/2009/07/29/03223451/melawan.kaum.nekrofilia

And since it is published in Kompas, it is plausible to guess that the contents tipped to one side: that this way of thinking is incorrect, and that current society must fight terrorism act (a.k.a necrophilia way).

Since I also side with destruction (WHAT? but it's true), for me this article is a big common fart. I don't agree with terrorism (selected destruction), but I agree with the destruction of everything (for example: triggering a big crunch so that the entire universe collapse into a singularity).

To put the mirror in front of our face: is it true that our society is biophilia (pro-life)? Or that we are living on illusion that we ARE pro-life?

The question starts at the beginning of human life.
When a parent conceive a child, does the child agree to be conceived?
Should the child agree to be conceived, does the child know the consequence of his/her future life?
Should the child feels disappointed of his/her life, why there is no escape mechanism for his/her to just cease to exist?

Seeing the recent bombing, there are pictures -pun intended- of a renowned man with his bloody-battered-disfigured head sitting on side of the road. Was the man victim of the bombing? Yes. Is it the bomber's fault? No. It is the consequence of his choice to live. Should he was asked by God whether he wanted to life or not at the first place, and he answered "Yes" (so that he came to life). Then all the sufferings are the consequences of that answer. He chose that. If not it was just a bad outcome of probability, and there is no God except the probability itself.

Who want to be born with poor parents?
Who want to be born with HIV?
Who want to be born and hanged down?
Who want to be born and sawed upside down into two parts?
Who want to be born, raped, mutilated?
Who want to be born, and stoned to death?

What is wrong with people who choose death? Because they force other people to death as well? And how can you justify the people who force other people to live? Copulating while hiding behind the "standard" of society? We state that our intentions are noble, to create future generation that will create a better world. Whilst in deep down in our heart, we just want somebody to take care of us when we are old. Very very egoistic huh?!

It is the real face of our society. Far beneath the dazzling of so-called normal life, we as society are blinded from the truth itself.

It is like when you're buying a piece of fried chicken at KFC. The society protect you from having to kill the chicken itself. You don't have to experience slitting the chicken throat, seeing it kicking, jerking and bleeding to death. You are being protected from the killing experience so you can eat the chicken conveniently.
The who do all those killings? In our society, we employ people who since they have done so many chicken killings, they get used to it. We call it "industry".
Kill one chicken, you might be scared to death. But after killing hundreds of chicken, you will feel "Hey it just chicken, just slit the throat, and done."

Do you care about the chicken' history? How it once tried to breath the first air by cracking its egg? How it took its first step? How it chirped for the first time?
Do you care about the beauty of life called a chicken?
No right...it's just a delicious meal priced at Rp. 5000. A price for life.

Unfortunately, chicken and human are the same.
Society protect us from experiencing the murders our own kind, and in most common form: under the name of law.
Did we care when Amrozi were "successfully" executed? We cheered right? Even Australia congratulated us.
Did we feel the blood in our hands? Or we just doing business as usual? Our hands on the keyboard, money, stocks, etc.
We feel innocent, because we don't have to kill. Even the firing squad are freed, since our society smartly put only one sharp bullet on randomly selected rifle, while the rest of the rifles contained empty bullet.

Do we try to understand why Amrozi did that? Do we even care about his life?
Same as chicken, we can't bother to think about that. Because in this case we need to eat safely without any bombing threat.

It is true that he deserved punishment, but out of all possibility why our society chose death?
We think that the terrorist doesn't conform with our law, thus we decided to destroy it.
Who is the necrophile here?

Death is merely a tool in our society, since everybody is afraid of it. It is so effective that we can't stop using it.

In other word: we love it too.
And our society claimed oh-so-arrogantly that the "innocents" were the victims of terrorist attack.
Do we really that innocent? Or the sin is already in our hand?

It is the curse of living. To die in horrible way. And there is no escape from it. To say that we want to live happily until we die of old age is a faint hope of good fortune.

For me, I still want to dream about the end of everything. How to deny God's creation plan.
I really hate this life.

We Demand Freedom!

Ok this part is a little bit satanic on the side.

The basic and the foremost theological question:
Why Eve fell into snake's alluring temptation to eat the forbidden fruit?
even more we have more and more question such as:
Why God created the snake?
Why God created the forbidden fruit?
Why God even created men?
And the conspiracy theory question:
Did God plan all these events?

But my question is: why we should be punished because of our freedom? It's true at some level too much freedom will result in havoc and chaotic world. But what if our faith rob us our capability to think and be creative?
What is wrong with chaos? What will this order bring us to?

Homo homini lupus est, man is a wolf to (his fellow) man. Yes, human nature is dark indeed. We put our need high beyond the need of others. At most of all, our need is boundless and limitless. But on the other side, human is the only known creature of the earth that would sacrifice his/herself unto the need of others.

Once a Jehova's Witness asked me a question "Do you believe in heaven and hell?". Intrigued by the question I answered "Yes". And then he asked again "What make you believe, that by living a merely 60-70, or say 100 at max, years of life will grant you eternal happiness or suffering in heaven or hell?"
A very good point indeed. I REALLY smiled at that time.

This question, and other thoughts gave birth to Jehova's Witness, not to mention others such as Mormonic Church, Scientology, and even Satanic Church.
Why? Because we CAN think of others way to recognize our God. Is it wrong? Then why God gives us capability to think? Just to be mindless drones that will follow everything that He said?

Religion is a powerful thing. Why? Simply because it offers ultimate prize: eternal happiness, free from all this worldly sufferings. But in order to gain the prize, we offer in exchange our obedience. What do you think is the reason so powerful enough that will make a man willing to be a human bomb, blasting himself along with hundreds of other people?
Unfortunately, it is not God's play, it is men's play.

It's tiresome sometimes to listen to our preachers. You must not do this.. you must not try that. Some even says that God forbids you to go to cinema! Yes! Just create god the way that you like. More prohibitions means less chance for your youths to do something wrong right?
So sickening! Madness!
Why do you think God will care about how we dress? While so many people out there without clothes? Can He, the omnipotent one, gives them clothes to wear?
And why do you think that He, oh so caring one, will listen to your daily grumble while so many people out there screaming because of famine and disease?
From this discontent, we've been creating our own golden calves!
If the preachers can define the God. Or even if the Bookwriters can define the God. Why nowadays human can't define their own God?

Do you think now the religion is the important thing? Or the fruit of your faith?
I believe in this world, it is human play. Whatever the fuel source is.
How to resolve famine? Simply by sharing your food!
And the food is the same no matter whether the source is satanic or Godly.

If the teachings of God do not lead to a better mankind, those are trashes.
If the man-made teachings can lead to a better mankind, those worth the try.
Why should we be punished for that?!

Yang Merah Tidak Selalu Yang Paling Keren

Purposefully written in Bahasa.

Tak disangka dengan internet gw bisa berjumpa dengan teman lamaku di masa-masa ketika aku tidak punya teman dulu.

Jetman! Well mungkin sekarang juga baru tahu nama lengkapnya Choujin Sentai Jetman! Mungkin lucu kedengarannya, tapi serial inilah yang memberikan semangat, kelucuan, dan satu-satunya teman baik gw selepas sekolah.


Selepas SD dan memasuki masa SMP, gw bukan termasuk anak yang keren (sekarang juga bukan). Dengan badan yang gendut, kacamata, dan ketidakmampuan dalam berolahraga, seseorang yang dulunya menjadi "teman baik" gw ketika SD, ternyata menemukan kelompoknya yang lebih cocok di awal SMP. Sempat shock sekali waktu itu, merasa sedih ... bertanya2 koq begini yah? Apalagi SMP, masa2 ketika ingin mencoba untuk menjadi keren.. tapi koq gw tidak bisa keren yah?

Situasi di rumah pun tidak lebih baik. Sepulang sekolah pasti harus bantu jaga toko. Well secara rumah (baca: ruko) gw di hook, so bokap buka toko di depan, dan nyokap waktu itu buka kantin di samping. Pulang sekolah jam 12.45, sampai rumah jam 13.30-an dan lagi puncak2-nya jam makan siang. Cuma boleh ganti baju (bahkan kadang2 tidak bisa ganti baju), dan harus segera turun dan membantu di toko. Kalau tidak.. wah bakal diteriakin.
En jangan dipikir kerjaan itu gampang, dulu bokap luar biasa diktaktornya. Hooa.. semua ga pernah salah deh. Bokap naroh piring di tangga habis makan siang, en gw bawa lampu TL 40 watt satu dus, kepleset tuh piring... gw yang diomelin habis2-an (bukannya khawatir gw ngegelinding di tangga). Ya elah.. tuh lampu panjang.. gimana gw mau liat tuh piring.

Saat SMP pula, kk gw bersekolah di Jakarta (SMUK 1). Wah ngedumel dalam hati... gw susah2 begini.. dia enak2 sekolah di Jakarta.

Sekitar jam 3-4 sore barulah bisa makan siang. Dan saat inilah gw bawa makan siang sambil nonton di depan tipi.. dan muncul-lah acara ini di Indosiar.

Awalnya gw pikir yaelah garing amat! Tapi koq lagu ending-nya enak yah....ya nonton lagi deh besoknya, sembari makan siang ngga ada tontonan koq. Lama kelamaan makin hanyutlah gw dalam petualangan Jetman. Bahkan di kemudian hari, kupindahkan jadwal les Inggrisku ke jam 6 agar gw bisa nonton Jetman tanpa terganggu.

Ceritanya menakjubkan! Pertama kali melihat model google five tapi dengan personel yang betul2 berbeda latar belakangnya. Yg merah (elang) berlatar belakang militer, yg putih/pink (angsa) putri orang kaya, yg biru (walet) mahasiswi, yg hitam (elang kondor) playboy, yg kuning (burung hantu) petani. Dan yg bikin iri adalah cerita pertemanan yang penuh warna (konflik, canda, dan cerita cinta).

Dan tokoh idolaku.. Gaaaaaaaiiii! Yang hitam (elang kondor). Memang dia betul2 keren tiada duanya. Individualistis, tidak sok2 setia kawan, kalau berantem menghalalkan cara2 kotor, playboy, pintar main saksofon... pokoknya di mata seorang anak SMP gendut dan berkacamata.. role model kekerenan deh! Apalagi ketika dia henshin sambil jalan (ceritanya lagi marah sama monster) OMG.... kereeeen sekali (sampai mau loncat2 di depan tivi)! Ditambah Condor Finish (guling2 panas dingin)!

Episode terakhir? Gw nangis sejadi2-nya. Ketika Gai ditusuk pencopet, terus dia bela2-in ke nikahan Ryu (merah) sama Kaori (putih/pink). Yg pas scene dia berjuang naik tangga, terus dia duduk sama Ryu, en ngomong terima kasih. Tambah deras lagi di scene pas mau foto bersama, Kaori khawatir mana Gai, terus dia ngeliat ke arah Gai, en Gai ngangkat tangan sambil senyum. Begitu Kaorinya senyum balik.. huaaaaaa sedihnya.

En pas ending roll.... wah betul2 sedih. Sebagian masih penasaraaaan sekali.. gimana nasib Gai? Cuma pingsan kehabisan darah.. or meninggal? Huaaaa! Tapi sebagian kesedihan lainnya adalah karena tahu kenyataan kalau besok sudah tidak bisa nonton Jetman lagi. Betul2 terpana di depan tivi dengan air mata yang berlinang2.

Sekarang, lebih dari 10 tahun kemudian... gw udah berubah.. udah punya best friends yang baru, sudah bisa menemukan olahraga favorit, udah bisa menghandle toko.
Tapi kemarin ketika nonton episode terakhir di youtube.. tetap saja mata berkaca2.

Tenkyu Jetman... teman di saat aku tidak punya teman.

Lagu ending Jetman.. yg bikin jatuh cinta pertama kali (kokorowa tamago...chiisana tamago... hahahaha):

Science, the frontier to the new amazing world

"What happen to the matter inside the 0 K temperature system?". A question was asked in physics class during my high school years. Then the teacher explained since 0 K indicates absolute zero condition means the system will lose all its energy, and all the atoms will cease moving one another. The system will be perfectly static since it has no energy to move even in the atomic level.

Is it true? At that moment that explanation sounded true enough to be accepted. And the most interesting fact is while on earth the temperature is nice and cozy, but the average temperature of the universe is 2.73 K, just almost 3 more degree to absolute zero.

Ok, so what is the answer for that question? The answer is Bose-Einstein condensation. Recent news from NUS startled me since they claimed to have succeeded in doing the experiment. It means creating one of the coldest material in the universe!

The most interesting fact about Bose-Einstein condensation is at the low(est) temperature, the particles will start to behave strangely. The atoms will display wavelike property. And as the temperature goes down, the wave will grow longer and eventually overlap one another. And then the atoms will undergo an identity crisis means can be everywhere at once in one big quantum system(hmm strange..)? But anyway it is nothing like my high school teacher explanation.

It is amazing to trace backwards and see how far physics can go. Once Newton thought about gravity and the basic motion of objects, and then Einstein came up with relativity and the world's most famous equation E=mc^2.

Newton's equation will be enough to send men to the moon, but it is Einstein relativity theory that enables us to find out interesting fact that the current record holder of time travel is the Russian astronaut Sergei Krikalev, who spent more than eight hundred days whipping around the earth on board both the Mir Space Station and the International Space Station. So far he has aged about one-fifiteth a second less than us people of the earth.

At around the same time Einstein published his most famous work, Max Planck published a paper at 1900 while he was struggling to explain the spectrum of the radiation emitted by hot objects. The paper was a root to more exotic framework: quantum theory.

Max Planck was led to the idea that energy is not emitted in a continuous stream, but rather in discrete bundles of a particular size. In the next few decades (until now) quantum theory blossomed into a new system of mechanics that would replace Newton's mechanic especially for the atomic and sub-atomic world.

In a quantum system, the system can be in many states at once, but when we observe it, than the system collapses and we obtain a single and specific result. The most famous experiment is double slit experiment. That when we fire electrons through double slit, it display wavelike result. But when we observe the electron one by one closely while it passes the slit, it will behave like a normal particle.

So strange! But yet it's so true. Science enables us to see outward and observe enormous things such as black holes, stars, and supernovas. Yet in the same time it enables us to see inward and observe minuscule matters. Still so much wonders left in this boring world.

Flat Feet

When I was in primary school, on field exercise we were asked to walk on a plank. It was a balance exercise, and I failed miserably on doing that. I was so confused, why other kids could do it with no problem at all. My sport teacher even asked me why i could not do it properly. After went home, I even trained at home using wooden plank, but again I could not do it properly.

The problem continues even until now. I just can't do balance position such as aeroplane position. I also have problem with blade-based shoes such as skate shoes and roller blade.

It was until I did yoga recently that I realized the root of the problem, my flat feet! And oh my goodness, it is so simple and fundamental that I missed it and kept blaming myself for unable to do balance related things.

The reason why i realized it during yoga was because during yoga class everyone came barefooted. As expected, during balance position I did awfully, and when I looked at others feet I realized the problem.
I have two balance points on the right and left side on each of my foot! And both balance points are unstable as they can shift to one another. To maintain balance, I have to "lean" to one point, and because I am leaning, my posture become unstable. To correct the balance, I change my leaning to other point, and so on.

Refuse to accept the bitter truth, I am now trying to lean to one point and keep the balance there. Basically it kills my foot since only small part on the side of my foot which support the whole body's weight. But with proper concentration (really concentrate) I can manage to prolong the balance even though not as perfect as everyone else.

The other challenge is to do running. I also realized that since the weight of my body is not well distributed, my feet are not as shock proof as everyone else. Usually on the 3rd km my right thigh joint begin to ache, and I have to stop because of the ache instead of running out of breath. Right now I am still finding out why it always happens on the right thigh joint, instead of the left.

Sometimes I hate my body, it's so full of genetic flaws: flat feet, arms that can bend outward (which make push up harder), and lactose intolerance (which makes me always having bad diarrhea after drinking fresh milk).

But at the end, I just have to live with it =).

Who is your ally Indonesia?

Looking at news these past days, one could realize that 2nd law of thermodynamics is in play: "The entropy of an isolated system not in equilibrium will tend to increase over time, approaching a maximum value at equilibrium."
From 9/11, legalized terrorism on Afghanistan and Iraq, Iranian nuclear issue, North Korea crisis, Sawat Valley issue in Pakistan, Mumbai terrorism, Bali bombing, and all others numerous issues. We're plunging deeper into chaotic system right now.

Our suppose to be ally

And the latest news came from the very backyard of Indonesia, the border between Malaysia and Indonesia. Yet once again Malaysian army intruded into Indonesia's territory. On purpose? I believe so (since this "accident" happened numerous times before).
A lot of Indonesian, triggered by this issue, would yell "Ganyang Malaysia!" as once had yelled by Soekarno, the founding father of Indonesia, a long time ago.

The question is: why Malaysia? Is it true that both Malaysia and Indonesia share the very common root on language and culture: Malayan? Is it true that both countries are Islamic countries?
Malaysia suppose to be our closest ally if we want to consider the cultural and religious similarity. Why this fact falters? Then who suppose to be our ally?

World's power

To see the polarization of world's power now, we can recognize two giant powers: America and China. And yet Indonesia is so distant from both of them. We can't get too close to America because of Palestinian issue, and we always keep our distance from China.
And to expect alliance from Islamic countries is like expecting snow to fall in summer (not to mention that our closest muslim country keeps backstabbing us) .

How about our other closest tiny country: Singapore? I have to admit this country plays itself really well. As the slogan says: Singapore is where east truly meets the west. Due to its cultural background of Chinese people and heavy investment on China, the relationship with the mainland China is unquestionable (Chinese is arguably the second most spoken language in Singapore). And also the relationship with USA is well since they have no problem with Palestinian issue (they even have diplomatic channel with Israel). And to attack this country means to deal with the most advanced military technology in ASEAN not to mention the backup from 7th fleet of US Navy (Singapore is building a new pier at Changi Naval Base to provide support for this fleet). Very different from Soekarno's time uh?

The nationalism revisited

Suppose if our army attacked Malaysia right now. What would the reaction of the whole country be? Why I suspect the reaction would not differ greatly from when we heard about the accident of army's plane crash a few weeks ago? Even some of us would still visit Great Singapore Sales!
The exclusivity of our army hinders the access for some of its people, thus make the people feel less responsible for them. Have you seen Chinese and Indian people in the national army? Though they have been around in Indonesia since.. well you can say... before Islam arrived in this country?

There is some barrier in Indonesia's system, even though it can't be understood. Javanese vs non-Javanese, westerners vs easterners, muslim vs non-muslim, natives vs non-natives. When I was in third grade in primary school, I got punched in the face for the first time (and more for the years to come). Puzzled at that time, I just couldn't accept the explanation from my parents: that somehow we're different from when we're born. For some times I even asked why I was born different from the local.

Rarely we see Indonesia as Indonesia (or never at all). We often see it as parts of it. When Ambon's conflict was at the peak, for whatever is the reason, the banner of the forces is Islam and Christian. Each party launched its own backup forces (sometimes armed) without any respect to local authority and national army. Why it was so difficult to launch any backup under the name of INDONESIA? The answer is because we only care for parts of it. Parts that similar to us, parts that concern us. The rest of it, even though we share the common land, is trash.

So why should people in Jakarta care about tiny islands, barren and ugly, so far that they can only see it on map? To remember nationalism lecture on my undergrad years... it is so laughable now.

Should the conflict arise, who will help us? Will we be able to help our self, or to be crushed by our differences? Play the chess next leader!

Yesterday on "Surat Pembaca" (reader's mail) Kompas, there was this mail regarding "Ujian Nasional" (national exam). A father mentioned that her daughter phoned him while crying mentioned that the examination was too difficult. And she saw people around her were cheating using solution key which had leaked out a day before.

The father mentioned that her daughter was educated as an honest person. And she would not resort to any cheating method.

That would be very great, but in my opinion: this father has failed to educate her daughter to be smart!

Indonesia now has a very serious problem. The quality of its education compared with Malaysia and Philippines (same countries as Indonesia with the same notion: "maid country") is very pale in comparison (as mentioned by vice president JK). The only way to put a standard on our education is by enforcing a national exam. Based on this the quality of graduates can be standardized.

Back to the father's problem. If her daughter is very honest, then why she need to cry?
Whatever will her exam result be, it will be her very finest result. Be proud of this. Why should you compare it to other dishonest person?
Should other dishonest person come out more successfully than you, than let it be. It is how this world works: nothing is fair and square. But you will now deep down in your heart, that you are not taking the easy path.
Be proud! For whatever is the result! Because you obtain it fairly, and because it really reflects your quality. Even if you have to redo your whole year of study. So what?! It will be a small deal compared to continue to higher education level with limited knowledge and skills.

UNLESS you haven't studied that hard and you regret it.

Crying is only for the weak.

To put my experience (because once upon a time I also sat as high school student):
Compared to public school, what we've been through as private school students were much much worse.

We always had two examinations to determine whether we could pass to the next grade or not. One examination was school's exam, and another examination was government's exam. School's exam was always come in much much more difficulty level that the government's. We had two weeks in examination period compared to our friends in public school who only had one week. The failure rate on school's exam was so ridiculously high that we always scored around 20% "casualties" (student who forced to change school) for every batch of students.

We often asked why we had to experience all these difficulties. But crying was the most useless solution. And praying came in the second. The only solution was to pick up your pen, books, and brain and started to study hard.

And so that was it, sorry to say, but National Exam was a breeze! Nobody care much to get the "leaked answer key", REALLY! Why bother to put any effort on a "relatively easy" examination, when you had experienced the difficult one?

That was on 2001. Demands and challenges grow with time. But the solution is still the same. Study hard! Forget the prayer and cries! God will be there, but He will not help you in answering the questions (He always busy with something else, don't you know?).

Now since I also sit in class as a student, I've felt nothing is useless. My years in school, my years in undergraduate study, and my years in working, everything contributes greatly and provides a very sound foundation to every step I make.

My advice as a fellow student: Stay honest, you may pray but it will do you nothing good at all, and start studying! Be proud of the result, whatever it is, and celebrate it!

An Eye For An Eye Makes The Whole World Blind

While I waited for my shift to fire, I read the newspaper which people usually left behind after eating. And I stumbled on this unique article. It is about the Iranian President: Ahmadinejad's burst on UN Conference against Racism last week.

The news received various response. And in Indonesia, people was hailing Ahmadinejad as hero, saying that he is the symbol of fighting for free Palestine.

What unique about this article that it was written by ambassador of Israel to Singapore. Whether it is right or wrong, I guess the world is already blinded by hatred. Since I can't find the online version of this article, I just retyped it without any changes.

As for my opinion myself, I believe that the only way to resolve hatred is by kindness, and sometimes by sacrificing your own right. And only the people who are closest to God can pull this string off.

"Today Newspaper
Friday April 24, 2009
News Comment
Ahmadinejad's Problem With Israel

The Jews have a basic and moral right to exist in their homeland.
Ilan Ben-Dov
Ambassador of Israel to Singapore

Another anti-Semitic outburst from Iranian President, this time at the United Nations Conference against Racism earlier this week, did not surprise anyone in Israel.

Mr. Ahmadinejad is acting systematically and with persistence through two channels: The first is an ongoing attempt to delegitimise the right of Israel to exist. To achieve this, every lie and every distortion is considered tools at his disposal, including the re-writing of history and the denial of the Holocaust.

The second is the Iranian nuclear weapon project. The Iranian President does not try to conceal his wish "to wipe Israel off the map".

It seems there is no limit to absurdity and hypocrisy: Mr. Ahmadinejad, a man who, from his very first moment in office did not stop preaching hatred, racism, and violence, was addressing a conference that is supposed to combat racism.

Mr. Ahmadinejad is a president who is leading a dictatorial regime that violates human rights on a daily basis, suppresing the rights of minorities living in his own country, including the rights of Iranian women. The same person, who preaches hatred, actively supports terrorism through his endorsement of Hamas and Hezbollah.

In his attempt to deny the Holocaust, he is joining a coalition of anti-Semites wishing for destruction of Israel.

The Iranian President is trying to spread the belief that the creation of Israel is allegedly an outcome of the Holocaust in Europe. He is trying to establish a "theory" according to which the suffering of the Jews in Europe caused them to arrive in the Middle East and to "rob" the land of Palestinians in order to establish a Jewish state.

He tends to forget that even a lie should be consistent.

First, he denies the very existence of the Holocaust, the murder of 6 million Jews in concentration and extermination camps during World War II.

Then he claims that the establishment of Israel (which is unjustified according to his theory) was an outcome of this historic event that according to him did not happen.

History is of course completely different and should be told in a clear, accurate, and unequivocal manner: The right of the Jewish people to land of Israel and to the establishment of its own state there is a natural and historic right that has existed for more than 3,500 years.

The Jews became a people, a nation, and amalgated as a religion and culture in the land of Israel hundreds of years before the Holocaust.

The Holocaust was the most traumatic event in the history of Jewish people and indeed, the history of all mankind. The Holocaust emphasised again and strenghtened the moral justification for the establishment of a Jewish state and more than this, the urgency for the need to establish a sovereign Jewish state for the Jewish people.

Moreover, it reiterated the natural right of the Jewish people to a state of their own in which they can live with dignity and security, free from prosecution and oppression as any other people in the world.

Therefore, the State of Israel was not "given" to the Jewish people as a "compensation" for their suffering in the Holocaust.

The State of Israel was established because Jews have a historic and moral right to live in their homeland and this right cannot be questioned.

One of the reasons for the establishment of the State of Israel was and still is the wish to give its citizens and to whole Jewish people a shelter, a place where every Jew can defend himself from prosecution, expulsion and discrimination, things that the Jews were subjected to for many years in exile.

The existence of Israel enables its citizens to protect themselves from people like the Iranian President who wish for its destruction and annihilation.

But this time history will not repeat itself.

This time, unlike, the situation in Europe in the 1930s and 1940s, Jews have a state of their own and this state has the ability to protect itself against those who dream of its destruction.

It is a basic right, a justified right and a moral right."

Kartini's Spirit: Defeated by the "Holy" Values

Two days ago(21/4) Indonesia commemorated one important milestone in the history of equality and emancipation of women. We called it "Kartini's Day", taken from the name of national hero: Kartini who fought for gender equality mainly in education. Kartini's dream was that every girl will have the same right to pursue education as their counterparts: boys.

Also at the same day, Kompas published one news: "Hamil? Jangan Ikut Ujian Nasional". The news tells the story of a girl who gets pregnant and because of her pregnancy, she isn't entitled to sit on national level of final examination. Her parents even accompanied her to pledge to the school so she can sit in the examination. However, the school rejected the plea and considered that girl was no longer enlisted as student in that school.

Why should this be happened? The equation to this trouble is: pregnancy outside marriage + Indonesia's "pathetic" religious value.

Pregnancy
We (in Indonesia) celebrate pregnancy. We hailed it as a miracle from God Himself. We condemn every act to put an artificial end to pregnancy (abortion). We debate all the evolutionary teachings by saying even mankind can't create a single living cell, but God can create a perfect human.

What is the difference between pregnancy outside a marriage and pregnancy inside a marriage? Will it produce a human with wrong genes? Will the baby be born with more sins? Or perhaps the baby from pregnancy inside a marriage will be more handsome or prettier? I believe the answers are no.

Even the God, who we believe to create everything, do not put a difference between these two type of pregnancies, why we must? Why we must condemn the girl by getting pregnant? This of course always ends up in one sided judgment since the boy who made the girl pregnant is never being pregnant.

Pregnancy vs School Rules
It is common in Indonesia to have school implement rules that forbid any type of sexual activity which is included pregnancy as the result. Usually the sex part goes unnoticed but when the pregnancy part arrived, suddenly it can't be hidden anymore. As the tummy is getting bigger, at one point the school will trash the victim, saying that she will bring shame to the school's good reputation.

But please see the gender discrimination part. The victim of this rule will surely be the girl.

Pregnancy Outside Marriage is a Bad Example
This is the most common babbling of people who pro with the "no pregnancy at school rule". We should break this problem down very carefully.

Our main enemy is free sex which is absolute "no no" in school environment. Ok, this is acceptable. But pregnancy is the side effect of breaking this rules. So why we battle the side effect instead of battling the root problem?
Because it is easier to spot pregnancy instead of spotting free sex activity?
Why we must choose the easiest path instead of choosing the most correct one?
Please bear in mind that a future of a child is at stake here. Her future years perhaps as a scientist, rocket engineer, president, or a very smart mother.

What makes the courage to admit your mistake, and to embrace the consequences become shameful? There are a lot of choices which are more shameful, one of them is to abort the pregnancy.

What make a pregnant girl is not worthy to get her lesson? That she suddenly can't solve a quadratic equation because she is pregnant?

And the main question is: WHAT IS THE BAD EXAMPLE OF PREGNANCY?

"Pathetic" Religious Values
What is the purpose of religious values? So we can feel more righteous than other people?

The basic of religion is: acceptance. Basically a religion has an universal membership. Moreover it offers transformation, so a person life should not be the same after he/she embrace that religion. Religion symbolize the grace of God which is given to all mankind.

However, nowadays people like to use religion as a condemnation tools. Saying that other people who is sinful as trash of orderly religious society INSTEAD OF trying to embrace them.
The most common examples: prostitutes, gay and lesbian.

Where is the heart of God in religious people? How can we experience God if all that we care about is how many times we pray in a day, do we conduct our pray properly, or have we visit our holy place this week?

I pray to God, that one day we can all see each other as equals.
[He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.] -Luke 10:27

Better Can than Not!

Language is the greatest barrier of humankind!

For lunch today I visited nearby McD since they have promotion SGD 4.50 meal package for lunch time between 12 and 2 at noon. My transaction went smoothly since I noted that my cashier is either Malayan or Indonesian so I used English. But the auntie behind me was not having the same experience. She just fired barrage of sentences in Mandarin: 两个冰淇淋，一杯牛奶. Actually I understood that the auntie just want two ice cream and one glass of milk. But it was sooo fun to see the face of the cashier. He wanted to change the language by saying "Sorry?", but again the auntie just repeated the same sentence. Realised that the conversation was going nowhere, the cashier just called his manager and everything went well since his manager was also an auntie.

The morale of the story is, if you can't speak mandarin, don't work at Chinatown (or just slowly learn). But I also understand that you will have limited workplaces choices to be choosed from. Especially when you are working in service sector.

I also take part time job as a service crew for a..well..quite popular Japanese restaurant (it even have branches in Indonesia). I put the location into consideration very carefully, and luckily I am being placed at heart of the city. The nearest MRT station bears the name "City****". So basically most of the patrons are office people and highly educated one.

In my workplace the situation is reversed. The manager and assistant manager can't speak mandarin (since both are Filipinos), but the crews can speak mandarin. Actually mandarin is spoken as official language between crews. Luckily I can survive the situation, even remembering simple remarks such as 几号(what number, usually referring to table number)，牛肉(beef meat)，鸡肉(chicken meat) can be very useful.

Most of the customers are English speaking people (or bilingual one). Surprisingly Indonesian speaking customers are on the second place and Mandarin only speaking people are on the third. I usually don't break the ice and speak Indonesian, but it was required one time with a mother and two childs. The mother was having difficulties, so yeah.... let's just speak in Indonesian. Switching modes is not easy especially when you can't use "natural" terms such as "lu" and "gua" and have to use "saya". Even hearing customers conversation in formal Indonesian is making my head want to crack open.

My first crew meeting was conducted in English. When the manager explained the plate must bla bla bla... the saucer must bla bla bla... Suddenly I heard "怎么写？(how to write)", and the other answer was "我不知道。(I don't know)". And after a moment I peeked at the note she made, and OMG! She didn't know how to write "SAUCER". She just drew the saucer on the note! So all these times, most of the crews just understand verbal English and not the written one.

Once i dispatched to other branch in heartland of Singapore, and the situation was even worse. Sooo many mandarin speaking people. The usage of hybrid language was more often such as : "Come, 来(both words have the same meaning, it is a redudancy)", "我的 order 还没有来(My order haven't come)".

Moreover with the language crash incident, I find out how Singaporeans speak Hokkian is so different than Medan people. Hokkian to mandarin is more likely the same for example: Javanese language to Indonesian language (one is tribal language and one is national language). In Indonesia, Hokkian is widely use by Chinese people from Medan (and later on spread islandwide on Sumatera island, except for Palembang which is still use mandarin), and the same for Tio Chew which is widely use by Chinese people from Pontianak (and later on spread islandwide on Kalimantan island).

But how Indonesian speaks them is so different. Since we speak Indonesian language too, I can see that our pronounciation for each word is clearer. For Singaporean, since most of the Hokkian, Tio Chew, bla bla bla speaking people's background is mandarin, they speak like a train. All the way.. all the way to the end! Blah! Sometimes what I can hear is just wailing and screaming.

And *sigh* since I work in Japanese restaurant, I have also to map some basic Japanese word. Such as gyu=beef, tori=chicken, ika=squid, hamachi=yellow tail, and so on. Fyuuh... my fourth language?

Have to learn much much more.... and yes, better if we can speak even in simplest form, than if we can't do it at all.